Between The Lines

24.

Six Months Later

"Alright, you've been talking for the past two total hours. I mean, that's fine-I know where you're coming from, but... now you have to listen to me. That's how a friendship's supposed to work since the last time I checked."

Olivia closed her eyes and shook her head. "You're right... you're right-I'm sorry I'm doing it again." She sighed. "It's just... my parents still haven't come in to see me." I followed her gaze to the other round tables filled with female inmates and their families and friends. "I was practically welcoming all the bullying and stuff, but everyone just ignores each other here. There aren't many groups of friends. I mean, what is there to talk about?"

I didn't know how to help her with that. "Well... how's your studying going?"

"Oh, I finished the books you gave me," she said, bringing them up to the table. "I even did the Reader's Guides at the end."

I took out the books from my backpack. "Good. These next two are going to be discussed in class, so make sure you do the worksheets; they're folded inside. Mrs. Baker gave me the copies ahead of time." We made the exchange. "She also told me you've been keeping up with the syllabus-better than the kids in the class. I think you're doing great in school overall. I still haven't checked with your math teacher, though...."

She smiled, flipping through one of the books. "So... how's everyone else?"

I sighed. "Things are... okay. I haven't seen Mitch for a while-the visiting schedules are different than they are here. Frankie's over it... but he doesn't talk to me anymore. I don't think the group's getting back together." I was secretly glad about that.

Olivia nodded, frowning. "And the other guys?"

"Jace and Ian were sent out of state. The trial stuff is still going on, but they'd done some other major stuff, so they're going to be locked up for a very long time." I shook my head. "You never really told me how you got mixed up with them."

She sighed and looked away. "I thought a lot about it, Danity-I've had the time. I realized that... they didn't judge me like you did."

I reeled back. "I never judged you!" Not to her face, anyway....

"You didn't have to-not directly, anyway. Everything you did... you did everything right, all the time. You were always the good one. Even my parents liked you better, which was why I kept inviting you over to my house all the time. They always talked about how nice you are, no trouble...."

"It's not rocket science, Olivia," I said bluntly. "Everything... you say I did... you could've done it too. You just followed the crowd because it was easier. I told you to listen to your parents, or at least not provoke them. I told you to stay in at night because no good place is open at two in the morning. I told you not to go to those parties because you always get drunk and you'll be vulnerable. I told you not to hang out with those people because you don't really know them. I tried to help you, Olivia, but you didn't let me. No one said doing the... right thing... was easy...."

She started crying.

"Okay, I didn't mean to make you cry-stop it. I just.... It frustrated me-a lot. You have no idea what it was like being your friend. Every week I'd see you make the same mistakes, every week I corrected you, and you still ended up drinking the next Saturday. But I didn't stop trying... because I was your stupid friend."

Olivia straightened up. "So... we're not friends anymore?"

I glanced at her. "That depends on you. I'm tired of being your conscience. You never listened to me, and I don't want to go through that again. I don't know what you've been doing here for the past six months other than homework, so I don't know how much you've changed-I see you only an hour a week. When you get out in December, we can only be friends if you quit doing everything you did before. No more parties like that. No more drinking or smoking or staying out super late."

"I will."

I shook my head. "It's not an ultimatum, Olivia, and it's not something you can just say 'yes' to on the spot-there's more to it than that. I'm not making you do anything. I'm not going to be there to tell you whether what you're doing is right or wrong. You have to learn how to tell the difference for yourself." I glanced at the clock. "Fifteen more minutes-what else do you want to talk about?"