The Girl In Room 417

Untitled Part 16

_

The next day I am stood outside room 417 with bright sunflowers tied with blue ribbon. I chose the ribbon specially. The woman who sold me the flowers thought I was a delightful young man, she told me so. If only she knew why I was buying the flowers.

I raise my spare hand and knock on her door. I don't hear anything and I crack it open, peeking through the narrow slit.

Abby is in her bed but she doesn't appear to be awake. Her face is thinner than I remember, giving her a ghostly appearance. I sit beside her bed and wait. After twenty minutes or so, my patience is rewarded.

"Ben? What are you doing here?" She grumbles, her voice is weak and sleepy.

"I came to grovel for your forgiveness, again. It seems I don't handle bad news very well." I say, muttering the last part. She shoots me a half smile and sits up slightly.

I hold out the flowers in my hands weakly and she takes them from me, fiddling with the ribbon before delicately placing them in a vase beside her.

"This is the first time someone's brought me flowers." She mumbles thoughtfully which makes my heart ache. Surely someone is missing this beautiful girl.

"The first of many, hopefully." I say, trying to stay upbeat.

Her face contorts somewhat and I frown.

"There won't be any flowers at my funeral." My eyes almost fall out of their sockets.

"That's not... I didn't mean that..." I splutter and she laughs, mischief shining in her eyes.

"Sorry, couldn't resist." She giggles and I fall back into the chair I'm sat in. She laughs at my expression and I roll my eyes.

"I'm sorry, about what I said." I blurt and she looks over at me, studying my face.

"I know, I'm sorry I didn't tell Emily." She says quietly and I shake my head.

"No, it's nobody else's business. If you don't want people to know then you have every right to keep it to yourself." I say firmly and she looks surprised.

"But before, when you said..."

"I know what I said, I was being selfish and ignorant and I'm sorry. I don't know what it's like or how you're feeling, but I'm trying to understand." I interrupt, deciding to be bold. Continuing with my brash behaviour I scoop up her hand and hold it gently in mine.

She looks at it for a second before giving me a breath-taking smile.

A smile worth living for.

_

"So, can I ask you a question?" Abby says, interrupting the peaceful silence that we had fallen into. I had been asking every question I could think of, Abby had insisted on answering every single one, as she didn't have anything worth hiding anymore.

"Sure." I perk up a little at this. She had shown vague interest, asking little questions here and there, but now she sounded curious.

"Why do you call me Abby, instead of 417?" Her eyes are burning with curiosity and I sit back, pondering the answer.

"I never really understood why you liked the nickname to begin with. Why would you want to be referred to as a number, when you have a name unique to you? I don't understand why you want to be remembered as the girl in room 417 when you could be remembered as Abby." I say slowly, watching her reaction carefully.

She listens intently and thinks about what I said. After a while, she nods.

"Why do you let people call you 417?" I ask, internally kicking myself for the lack of control I have over my mouth.

She shrugs slightly.

"It was nice to have a nickname I suppose, made it feel like these people are my friends instead of nurses paid to care for me. Plus, I've been in and out of this room for as long as I can remember, the name just stuck and after a while people stopped asking for my name."

I mull over her answer and decide that that's not a very good reason at all. Abby, it seems, has always been unfairly lonely. Perhaps due to the lack of a normal childhood, or school education, or the fact that she had to grow up so much faster than every other kid her age.

Her life strikes me as hugely unfair and cruel. She has endured a lifetime of pain and isolation, all for it to be over by the age of 19. She hasn't had a chance to live.

"Don't think about it, Ben. The more you do, the unhappier you'll be." She says, interrupting my thoughts and I wonder if my facial expression is really that easy to read.

"You're very easy to read." She confirms and I feel my cheeks go slightly pink. I nod, and look at my watch. If I wanted to spend some time with my sister, I had to leave now. The thought of leaving Abby, though, was undesirable.

She seemed to read my mind.

"You better get to Emily before visiting hours are over." She says, inclining her head towards the door and I nod, getting up.

"Do you mind if I drop by tomorrow?" I ask, stuffing my hands in my jeans pockets nervously.

"Not at all." She says quietly, a small smile lighting up her features.

I nod, smiling back at her.

"Until tomorrow."