Transformer

Chapter 3, depression

What will I do that now my father is dead...?
How will my mother react t-this?
Maybe...she is better since my father is up with her in heaven..
How...how will I cope with this..?
There was no feeling to describe this sadness.
"Knock knock!!" I heard.
I yet ignored it, lying in the sofa, sobbing, rubbing my eyes.
But my eyes kept tearing up, repeatedly, the sound of the door kept knocking.
Wiping my tears away, I went to the bathroom and check myself.
I could only see a girl, who looks so ugly, so....awful.
Walking to the door after washing my face, I went to the door and opened it.
It was...Chanyeol.
"You fine? You looked like you just cried..."he said.
"Huh...no..I look ugly...yeah I know-"
"No you don't...you look...beautiful to me in every way."
I smiled as I heard that, but it reminded me of my father, tears started coming back.
Flashback...
"You look beautiful in every way to me,"my dear father said.
As I cried, it was because of my classmates bullying me.
I smiled at that console, and I asked him,"is mommy beautiful too?"
My daddy patted my back, and replied,"of course she was."
I hugged him tightly as my tears streamed down thinking of my own mother.
He hugged back, sudden tears started filling his eyes and it streams down his cheeks.
End of flashback..
"Why are you crying?" Chanyeol asked again worriedly.
"Nothing...just..leave me alone."
I shut the door, and Chanyeol shouted through,"I will stay here till you unlock the door!"
Walking away, i go back to the sofa, crying lifelessly.
I was still standing here, but you were gone.
You used to hate me, but you learned to love me.
My babyish face got you with effort, reminding me of my mother.
You used to harm me...but as soon as you saw me like mother...you couldn't do it anymore.
When I was still standing there, searching for you, you were playing with life.
But soon, not so lucky, of course you died...because of me.
You had a heart problem, but you would always hide it to me as possible..
I still remembered how I found out..
Flashback...
I was hungry, so I decided to go downstairs.
I heard someone vomiting, someone coughing, someone moaning.
It was all the same person.
I went to my father's bedroom, I saw him sitting on the bed, eating white pills.
"F-father..?" I asked suddenly.
My father ate the pills and nearly choked as he heard and saw me standing there.
"Sweetie..go back to sleep."
"Why are you eating those pills?"
"Let me see them!"I added as I went to the bed table, finding the container.
He wanted to grab it back, but there was no avail.
Labeled was,"For heart condition."
I gasped.
"F-fa-father...your heart..." I mumbled, as tears took over my vision.
"Darling...I might not be able to live very long...through I really want to...perhaps you want to go to the human world?" My father ask.
"Bu-"
"I know you want to. I will bring you there, and I will stay here alone. I don't want to see me die."
End of flashback...
I was so tired, so I drifted of to sleep.
As I woke up again, I found myself staring at the ceiling, lifelessly.
My cell phone kept ringing, continuously.
I kept thinking.
My father is dead.
My father is dead.
My father is dead.
I heard knocks on the door, but ignored it too.
Is all my fault his is dead..is all mine.
Looking through the photos in my phone, I across one so long ago.
It was when I was so young...
My mother was still living..she was still there..
With me..with my father..we were all smiling.
I picked up my phone, and heard Chanyeol voice,"I AM WAITING OUTSIDE, I WANT YOU TO COME OUT, TELL ME WHY ARE YOU CRYING."
How to hell did he get my number from?
I didn't speak, but breathed.
"MIN CHAN. I WANT YOU TO-"
I interrupted him with my horse voice.
"My f-father is dead...Chanyeol...my father...my mother is already dead...is my fault they died. The d-died because of me, Chanyeol. Is all my fault,"I whispered, sharply.
He paused, taking a while to digest my words.
So I continued.
"They were murdered...all because of me...i-if..I hadn't..left.."I whispered again.
The shockness came to him.
"What leave? You left your parents?"
Is time for the truth...