Hi there ! This is a short monologue I wrote about the stereotypical man. This is meant to be performed by a girl wearing sweat pants and a t-shirt. She plays the man's role exaggerating everything and makes a clean distinction between when she represents herself and when she represents the man. If you enjoy this, please VOTE, it means the world to me!
WARNING: SEXUAL CONTENT, and a bit of VULGARITY.
Menliness
"Now ladies, feel my pain.
We all know women are complicated, but I mean...men..pff...
Can't even describe it !
It's like, when he decides to cook...by that I mean SPAGHETTIS !
He puts away the dirty knife, back in the drawer.
And then looking all innocents says, « But honey, I am going to use it again next time. »" (She says the quote with a grave voice, playing the man's role)
"Or even worst...
He uses it as a nailfiler while sitting in front of the TV !" (He is sitting on a couch, legs spread open with a know in his hand and he is cleaning his toe nails. Then he brings the knif up to his mouth and cleans his teeth with it. She then crosses her legs and gives an exasperated sigh.)
"As we are watching TV, I look at him and he's got his hand down there...doing who knows what ! And when I ask him why he does that he answers in a matter of fact way, « But you gotta understand...you got to put it on the right side ! »
I mean...what can I reply to that ??" (She shakes her head and smirks disapprovingly)
"So as we are watching this movie, which requires a further outlook on a very special and respectful relationship between a man...and a doll, he ruins the moment by out bursting, (With all seriousness he shouts) « BUT SHE 'S A SEX DOLL ! »
And as I try to explain him the whole beauty of it, he says, « Did you see how her mouth was wide open ? I mean, if he didn't think of sticking it in there...now THAT would be a lack of respect ! »" (She looks shock and then cover it up with a blank expression, as if thinking about something)
"And in the morning, he looks just as lethargic as that...." (He puts his hand in his pants then touches his stomach under his shirt, while stretching and yawns without covering his mouth. He then turns around, slowly walking off the stage, lazily, but stops to scratch his ass, before making a final exit.)
