"First they'll make your heart skip beats and then they'll make your insides ache until you forget the difference between love and hate."
"Bucky," my voice was smaller than usual as I approached the man beating up the red punching bag.
He stopped abruptly as I laid my hand on his shoulder. For a moment I felt like he might swing at me, for a moment I kinda wished he would; not because I was too keen on getting hurt again, it was just so I could postpone the awkward conversation that was coming whether I wanted it or not.
"You wanna train with me?" He asked, not turning around to face me.
"Train for what?"
"I don't know," he stepped away from the punching bag towards the chair that held his towel and water, "For fun? There's nothing else better to do here anyway." he finally turned towards me while grabbing his water bottle.
I laced my fingers together and then unlaced them, "I guess," I agreed with his statement before shaking my head since I knew I was getting distracted, "we need to talk."
"Okay cool, let's talk while going one on one?" he was relentless.
"Fine," I let out a deep sigh as I took off my sweater.
I felt his eyes on my body as I stepped into the boxing ring. Focus now, god dammit. Left hook, good. Right hook. duck.
"Well," he spoke between trying to land a hit on me, "I'm all ears."
"That's not physically possible," he smirked at that and I. won't. get. distracted. "anyway, we need to talk."
"You said that already," he chuckled, before punching me, "let's talk then. What do you wanna talk about?"
His movements sped up, as did mine, "I- uh, I want to talk about us."
He paused momentarily as the words left my mouth. I landed a punch in his gut, making him turn his full focus on me. After that his movements became sharper, making it harder for me to land any blows on him. I kept spinning and ducking in time to not get hit myself, but as soon as I looked up at his face I could feel myself stumble backwards, hitting the ground. Bucky was quickly by my side, pinning my hands to the ground, making it unable for me to get back up.
"What about us?" there was smugness in his tone.
The parts where his hands met my skin felt like they were on fire. I felt like a thousand electric currents were shooting through my body. I could feel blood pounding in my ears and all I wanted to do was run.
"This." I said, unable to look him in the eyes.
His eyebrows knitted together in confusion, "what?"
"You can't do this! It's wrong! You are my best friend! Nothing more!" I raised my voice as I broke free from his grasp, "Whatever happened between us, it can't happen again, alright?"
He didn't meet my eyes after those words, he kept staring at the place I had just laid at. Doing nothing.
"You understand that, right?" I asked carefully.
He didn't answer back. I didn't know what to do. Was he mad? That wasn't my intention, to make him mad. I just needed him to know that, whatever it was between us, wasn't right. I don't wanna lose him, especially to some dumb little feelings.
I couldn't stand there any longer. He wasn't responding to me and maybe it was for the best. I pressed on the elevator button multiple times, as if it would make it arrive quicker. However as soon as it did, I hurried in and pressed on a random button to take me away from the bottom floor.
I pressed my head against the wall and breathed out. The doors closed; he wasn't coming after me. Not that he was supposed to or anything.
The elevator stopped and for the first time since I had stepped inside, I finally paid more attention to the floor I had pressed the button to. It wasn't my floor, but there in front of me stood Steve, great. He stepped inside and I pressed the button to get to my room as quickly as possible. Don't get me wrong, I liked Steve, it just wasn't my day.
"You okay, Adriana?" Steve asked as he studied my face.
"I'm great," I answered, before realising that my face had a bruise forming on it and my knuckles were busted up, "Oh, I was training." I gave him a small laugh.
"Oh, makes sense," Steve laughed with me, "With Bucky?"
My heart clenched at the mention of his name. For some reason I felt like crying. I wasn't gonna shed any tears in front of him though. No way. How funny is the fact, that no matter how hard I try to avoid the topic of him or just push away the thought of Bucky, I can't bring myself to do so.
The elevator doors opened on my floor finally, so I just nodded an answer for Steve before waving him goodbye. I needed to get out. I wanted out.
Maybe just maybe, for once I wanted more than what my life had offered me so far. Perhaps here wasn't where I really needed to be.
~~~
And I am sorry again, aha!
I am so incredibly thankful for all the nice words and likes you guys leave! You all always seem to be able to put this huge smile on my face with your nice and funny comments, I'm so so so thankful for every single one of you that reads this story. (even though I've been horrible at updating. I'm sorry, I have the worst writer's block atm) 💕
You all are amazing, just letting you know! x
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Never be the same (Bucky Barnes/The Winter Soldier)
Fanfiction"What he did to you was monstrous," they kept saying that, but they weren't getting the sentence right, "They. They did it." I said back, my drained voice close to a whisper. "Okay, then, what they did to you was monstrous," they tried again, "And n...
