Thirty four

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Vanessa knew that this was the end. Mesut wasn't willing to stop her, much to her disappointment.
Nobody was in her sight, yet she knew that this was her shot.
The cast was so excited, they all clapped their hands and screamed enthusiastically.
Vanessa faked a smile.
What else could she do after all ?
Louisa was checking worryingly at her and although Vanessa reassured her a couple of times that she was okay, it was more than obvious that she wasn't.
All these days she had tried her hardest to fought her tears. She knew that she shouldn't have acted the way she did and that she was selfish, being sad when an opportunity like this appeared.
She couldn't do otherwise though. She was running out of time. Everything was going to finish soon.
And when was she supposed to see Mesut again ?
She already missed him. She felt her eyes filling with tears again.
Everything would end soon. The filming of the scenes was about to start next week and they had to fly to India at least a couple of days earlier. She didn't have much time with Mesut.
He was the only thing she could think about. The only one that mattered. Vanessa was in love with him.
Yes, she had loved Julian too but he was unable to love her back.
She didn't feel like that with Mesut though.
- Vanessa, what do you think ?
William asked.
Everybody was staring at her.
She soon realized that she had started crying.
She wiped her tears away.
- I'm sorry, what were you saying ?
Vanessa asked.
- When do you think we should fly to India ? I've already talked with my people there and they're waiting for you.
William added.
Vanessa's eyes met Louisa's. She was the only one that knew how Vanessa was feeling.
Vanessa sighted.
- I guess as soon as possible. We've got a lot of work to do.
Louisa looked at her surprised by her answer.
It was weird that Vanessa wasn't trying to elongate her staying in London.
Vanessa knew that nothing was going to change.
And she wasn't going to try to change anything.

Four days later Vanessa was sitting in her bed with her luggages ready to fly with her to India. There was no going back. She was going to spend the next seven months far away from Mesut. Far away from everything that had to do with him.
Her biggest fear had been all this time if he would forget her, it was possible after all. He was handsome, rich, a talented footballer that could have any girl he wanted.
Vanessa knew that this was the end for their relation. She knew that Mesut was going to forget her within the first month.
And Vanessa was going to be miserable again, knowing that she wasn't able to keep a man.
Tonight, she was flying to India with all her cast. The cast that was excited and couldn't wait. And Vanessa,the filmmaker, the person that was supposed to be happier than anyone else was feeling worst than ever.

Vanessa looked at Mesut that was standing at her door. He had just finished practice and he came to spend with her the last hours before Vanessa leaving for India.
Vanessa wasn't going to cry and make Mesut remember her crying as the last times they spent together.
She had no idea when was she going to see him again. India was far away and with their daily routine going on that would be a lot more difficult than Vanessa could imagine.
Vanessa had thought that breaking up with him was a great idea. Then he wasn't going to feel guilty if he ever cheated on her.
They spend the last hours in Vanessa's house not saying much being both deep in their thoughts. What was for them left to say after all ?
Well, Vanessa knew that she had something to say but also knew that this was going to make her leaving harder. So she kept her mouth shut.
- Do you have everything you need ?
Mesut asked.
They were both feeling awkward. As awkward as the time Mesut decided not to kiss her for the first time.
- I think so.
Vanessa said biting her lip.
She was avoiding his gaze. She knew that he had such an impact on her that she was willing to change her mind in the last minute.
- You'll call me when you arrive. Don't consider what the time will be here.
Mesut said.
Vanessa nodded.
- So, you've got the Champions League this week, don't you ?
Vanessa asked not knowing what else to say.
- Yes.
Mesut responded.
- I'm sure you'll do great.
- I'll miss you Vanessa.
He said out of the blue.
Vanessa looked at him for the first time since he came into her house.
She felt her eyes filling with tears but didn't do anything to wipe them away.
- I know. I'll miss you too.
She said hugging him.
- We can manage seven months, can't we ?
Mesut asked.
Vanessa let out a small laugh.
- Of course we can. Seven months are like nothing.
- But there won't be seven. I mean I'll visit you and you'll do the same.
He said kissing her forehead.
- Of course, besides we may come back earlier. William said six to seven months so it's possible that will finish earlier.
Vanessa added.
They were both trying to convince themselves that it wouldn't be that bad, and after all it may wouldn't.
A lot of people survived long distance relations, why couldn't they ?
- I promise to come when I got the chance.
- You should focus on your matches, okay ? Don't think about me all the time.
- As if that's easy.
- As if you won't find someone else as long as I'm gone.

All the way to the airport they were both silent. Vanessa had no idea what she should say.
At the airport all her cast and co workers were extremely excited. Some of them were a little sad that would spend so much time away from their families but to Vanessa they all seemed happy.
She on the other hand, was already trying to find sometime to visit Mesut. She knew that everything was going to be way too difficult.
- Remember to call me when you arrive.
- Will do.
Mesut kissed her for a moment, knowing that he should let her go. Her flight was boarding.
- We'll keep in touch you know that. We'll skype everyday.
Vanessa had started crying again but she just nodded not wanting to upset him.
- You know, ever since I met you my life was worth living again.
Vanessa said.
- Stop it Vanessa. You'll never be able to leave if you say these stuff.
- It's the truth. And I want you to know it.
Mesut hugged her tightly.
His own eyes were a little bit dry.
- You'll miss your flight.
He whispered.
Vanessa kissed him like she had never kissed him before, knowing that she won't kiss him soon again.
Her eyes were still filled with tears but she followed her cast, leaving Mesut.
She walked a few steps while still crying.
And then she stopped.
What was she doing ? Did she really think that this was going to make her happy ? She wanted to be with Mesut. She knew that.
She turned to face him, being where she left him and made her way towards him while he pulled her into his hug.
- Ask me not to leave. Please, do it. I can't do that. I can't be seeing your face for the next seven months, I just want to be with you, ask me not to leave and I won't. I can't be away from you. I love you.
The words had slipped from her mouth easily. Not in an attempt to make him beg her to stay but because she meant it.
Mesut kissed her, knowing that he had a chance to make her stay. He could do that. He could make her stay.
But he didn't want to. He knew that if she did that Vanessa was going to blame him for not taking this huge opportunity.
And Mesut just wanted her to be happy. Even if that meant that he was going to be broken hearted.
- Vanessa, I........
- Say it.
- I can't ask you to stay. You deserve to be happy and I know that you'll be when your movie will become a huge success.
Vanessa looked at him shocked.
- What do you mean ?
- I can't ask you to stay. You have to go. I'll be happy knowing that you had made your best in your movie.
- But I just want to be with you! Didn't you hear me ? I love you!
Vanessa protested.
Mesut wasn't going to stop her, she know knew that.
- You'll regret it if you don't go. I know that.
Mesut pulled her into his hug while Vanessa burst out crying. It was the end. He wasn't going to stop her.
- I love you.
Vanessa whispered kissing him.
- I love you too, you know that.
Vanessa smiled weakly.
She knew.

Mesut stayed in the airport longer making sure Vanessa had boarded.
He regretted letting her go but he wanted her to be happy. And succeeding in her movie would definitely make her happy. Mesut knew that Vanessa was the best thing that ever happened to him.
He loved her. And knowing that she loved him too, made him happy.
He wanted to be with her and that was what mattered. He was going to visit her as soon as he got the chance, because he knew he would miss her. Everything about her was addictive. He was going to be patient though. He had his career to think of. He knew he was lucky that he had met her and got to have her. He had to admit that all this time they were together, it was the best time of his life. He closed his eyes briefly and every memory came to his mind again.
It wasn't the end, Mesut knew. If what they had mattered -and Mesut wanted it to matter- then they would make it.
As he exited the airport he realized it was raining.
He looked in the sky where an airplane had already taken of, flying for some destination far away.

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