The Irony In All This (Percy Jackson)

Dead Boy Walking

Leo:

He wasn't being honest and it was the annoying me, also kind of made me feel bad.

I don't know, it might have to do with me liking him. I just thought we learned a lot today and we were closer. But he didn't want to tell me something. Like he wanted to say it, but wouldn't let himself say it.

We were at his cabin and as we spoke to one another, he just seemed kind of lost. Which confused me in a way. Was he still debating something I asked earlier?

I mean, I know he said he was fine, but something screamed that he wasn't.

"Do you need..." I decided that was the wording I wanted to go with," do you need to say something?"

"What?" Percy was pulled out of his daze," oh, um..." He didn't seem certain in his answer," no. I, uh... No."

"You sure?" I knew it was a bad idea to push it, well maybe, I had a feeling it was a bad idea. But I can be an idiot and I was concerned. "I mean, you talked me out of suicide earlier today. If you want or need to say something, I can't ever repay you for doing that. I'm here."

I think that triggered something in him. His eyes glazed over as he thought my offer over and he blinked, a tear rolling down his cheek that he managed to catch before sniffling.

"Sorry," he apologized for absolutely no reason with no explanation.

"What for?" I question," you didn't do anything wrong."

"Sorry," he repeats himself to me like I didn't hear it the first time," I just... I have a hard time. With people. Talking. Yeah."

I knew what he was trying to say, but I found it hard to believe.

Percy Jackson? Having troubles opening up to people?

Since when?

"That question I asked earlier," I brought back up for a reason," you had to think about it."

"What was it?"

"If I would have told you to go ahead and kill yourself-"

Percy didn't even let me finish the question.

"I'd do it in a heartbeat."

There was this grimace on his face and held pain. So much awful pain.

He just admitted in front of me that he's suicidal. That all he needs is for somebody to tell him to do it, and he will.

To hear that out of somebody you think is nearly perfect, that has an amazing life. Somebody you would... You love dare I say.

All it took for him was one hug and he melted like butter.

The son of Poseidon clung into me like I was the only thing he could feel and not that I'm complaining, but it was heartbreaking. He told me basically his life story.

He was abused by his alcoholic step dad before he did. The first time he met his dad he basically told him he never wanted him. Then he got a brother that made him feel like a joke. Nico blamed him for his sister's death, which he almost killed himself for. Then it was death after death after death that he witnessed of his friends. By the time that's over he has a baby sister, his mom remarried, and this time she was the abusive alcoholic. He's been diagnosed with Depression by Apollo himself. But nobody really knows because it's not like he takes anything or goes to see anyone about it.

Percy has the hardest time opening up to people. He admitted that I was the first person he's told about any of it. I somehow got him to snap.

I was sadly proud of that.