The Irony In All This (Percy Jackson)

You've Come So Far

Percy:

I'm not a fucking therapist. Why does everyone think that I'm a therapist? I need a psychiatrist for God's sake.

But I got a call in regards of Leo needing help. He was suicidal.

Yeah, I rushed to help. Of course I did. It's Leo, I couldn't do much else. He was my friend and maybe hopefully something else soon but if that happens that means I have to tell him... Things.

Things like Gabe, and the things Gabe did to me, and stuff and yeah.

I'm not very good when it comes to opening up to others. Grover.... Hell, my mom doesn't even know he abused me. Nobody knows.

They don't know that I'm depressed, that I want to kill myself. Because I suck at opening up. Yeah, I'm diagnosed. By Apollo. Took one look at me and said I was depressed. He re-diagnoses me every time he sees me and it's kind of annoying. I know I have problems.

Don't remind me.

I hurried through Camp Half-Blood and to Bunker 9, where the son of Hephaestus had been at the time. Jason couldn't get through him, neither could Calypso. And they've dated in the past. Maybe they still are, I don't know. Nico, Will, nobody could get through him. I was their last hope.

Was I ignoring the fact that other people were in here?

Yes.

Because I kind turned into an asshole. But not. I became the person that claims you could have it so much worse, you had no idea. That asshole.

I did not start off that way, though.

Sorry, but at least his mom cared about him until the day she died. My mom used to care. She did. Now she's turned into Gabe. She drinks, all the time. Yells at us, she has beat me more than once. Told me to go kill myself. To leave.

But Paul is there and so is Kendaline. I can't just leave them. I stuck around when it was Gabe. That was bearable. He wasn't my dad.

This is my mom, though.

"Leo," I said, hurrying to the Repair Boy the entire camp had grown to love in one way or the next," Leo, what happened?"

His arms were bloody, he held a medicine bottle in his hands, struggling to get it open.

"Stupid childproof caps..."

I kneeled down to be at Leo's height, as he was on the ground, and grabbed the medicine bottle from him, placing it behind me.

"Leo," I stated, calm," look at me."

"You just..." Leo seemed baffled that I was able to do that," took..."

"Yes, and until I think you won't go and overdose, the bottle is mine," I clarified for him. "What happened?"

He shrugged.

"You just felt like killing yourself?"

"You make that sound like a bad thing," Leo scoffed at my question," Percy, how would you know!? You're life is perfect! People love you! You've never been depressed a day in your life! You have no reason to be!"

The sound, the laugh that came out of me at that moment, probably made me sound insane. Which, by now, I probably was. Whether that was because of how often I was abused that it was causing mental damage or stuff I've seen here or both, whatever it was, I noticed the weird looks I got.

And I stopped caring.

I pointed behind myself, at the bottle full of pills that could kill me.