The Love Letter {Hyuga Hinata}

Chapter 5

Sakura gently held the paper in her hands as though it would crumble to pieces any second. Slowly, she brought her hand to her mouth as her eyes flowed along the words of the page. Her lips trembled slightly, now and again forming the words that her eyes glossed over. Suddenly her eyes widened in shock.

"Neji!" she cried, jumping up from her chair. The brunette wanted to shrink down into his.

"Sakura, calm down!" he hissed angrily, grabbing her arm and yanking her back into her seat.

"But—!"

"I know it comes as a sho—"

"It's not just a shock! It's unbelievable!" Sakura whispered.

Neji rubbed his forehead wearily. "Look, just make sure no one else finds out."

Sakura appeared to think for a moment, but then, at length, she nodded.

The brunette sighed heavily. "Come on. We can talk about this somewhere else."

Sakura looked up at him as he stood, making a small noise of surprise, perhaps protest.

"People are starting to leave." He gestured around himself at the people who stood from their small tables, and the people getting their coats from the hodgepodge on the racks. Hiashi somberly passed by with a nod, and Hanabi at his heels. Her eyes looked so empty.

"Hey..." Neji started. "Have you seen Kiba?"

"He left a while ago with his older sister... Why?"

"Ah, nothing. I was just wondering." If Naruto was trying to steer clear of Kiba, he wondered how serious Kiba really was. Naruto was the kind of guy to hit any situation head on, no matter how foolish it was. Perhaps he should be just a bit more worried...

"Well, anyway, let's go to The Heavenly Cup..." Neji suggested. "You know where that is, out by—"

"Yeah, I know where it is."

"I'll meet you there." Neji said, and as an afterthough, he said, "I'll pay." He sighed again, tugging on a couple strands of loose hair.

The pull was strong, but he was able to leave the building without looking back.

Neji sat down next to Sakura on the deep, worn leather couch in the coffee shop. He put their coffees in front of them on the low wooden table before them, and then he shimmied out of his stiff black jacket. Sakura simply sat there silently, holding her head in her hands. Neji sighed, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees. He didn't know what to say.

But really, there was nothing to say.

Sakura finally sat up and took her coffee. She sipped the hot drink carefully. Her eyes were pink-ish again, like they had been during the funeral.

"She really—" Sakura began, but she stopped as though she were choking on something. Neji couldn't really look at her. He didn't know what to do. "She really..." he heard a quiet little sniffle. "didn't think she had any other choice...?"

Neji sighed again. He had been doing that a lot lately, hadn't he? He leaned back, and the couch sucked him in comfortingly. He closed his eyes and crossed his legs, getting a bit more comfortable.

"Well..." Neji began, trying to think of the best way to put this. "This is Hinata we're talking about. She couldn't fathom killing her own child, right? Even though she could have talked about it to someone... Even though she was in med school..."

"Just stop... Neji, stop!" Sakura sobbed. Her body was so very small like that, doubled over and shaking lightly—so very fragile.

Neji sipped at his coffee. Seconds, and then minutes passed. Finally, Neji reached out, and began soothingly rubbing Sakura's back. No words were spoken.

Why aren't I crying? It seemed strange to him. Maybe it was all just too... surreal. Yes. That was it. None of this really seemed like it was happening. He would come home and go up to his room, and Hinata would peek in then and ask if he'd been out on a date. Then she'd sit down on his bed (without his permission) and she would gently pry into his feelings about his breakup with Tenten.

And everything would be normal.

He hardly realized when tears had begun to spill from his pale, lavender eyes. Gasping, he hurriedly scrubbed his face of the evidence and flashed a look to Sakura, just to see if she'd noticed. But no, she was still hunched over, but the tears had stopped. She simply sat, staring blankly into her coffee.

"Neji." She said suddenly, breaking the heavy silence that had fallen between them. "I can't understand it. Is this thing... your clan... Is this really so..."

"Ah..." his voice trembled slightly when he spoke. "You're talking about her duties to the clan. You see, I already knew everything that was contained in that letter. She was the heir to her clan... the shame that she would suffer would not only fall on her, but also on the rest of the clan. She could never head the clan. The elders would never let her. Her father would fall into shame because Hiashi's wife died when Hanabi was born. He raised both girls, for all intents and purposes, on his own, and this would be proof that the elders were right: a single parent cannot efficiently raise a good, obedient child—especially not one worthy of being the clan head."

Sakura scowled. "Tch..."

"What is it?" Neji wanted to brush her cherry hair away from her face to get a better look at her expression. "Are you angry about something? You shouldn't be angry about her duty to—"

"Yes, to the clan! I know!" Sakura bit out, her eyes ablaze. "But she should have... Why didn't she run away? She didn't have to care about any of that..."

"Where would she go?" the brunette asked softly. "What would she do?"

"It's just not fair!"

Neji sighed. Again. Life's not fair. He sipped the now lukewarm coffee and thought about it. Life is not fair... But... did it really have to pass this way? When he spoke, it seemed to him almost as though he were speaking to himself.

"Sakura... There's no use in thinking of things that might have been." Neji shrugged. "I mean, she was never thinking of herself... She was thinking of me, and of Hanabi and her father... She really saw death as the only way out. She couldn't let herself burden Naruto because she would want to move to another city. She wouldn't be able to bare the shame of staying here. And—"

"Shut up!" Sakura yelled. The coffee shop grew quiet, and Sakura's cheeks were stained pink with embarrassment.

Neji took a deep breath and continued softly, almost gently. "Hinata knew that Naruto didn't love her. She didn't want him to sacrifice the life that he was creating for himself, just for her. That's the kind of person she was. Do you understand?"

"I..." Tears were welling up in Sakura's eyes. "I understand, but..." Silent sobs racked her body.

Neji continued speaking as though the woman next to him wasn't crying at all. What else should he do, comfort her? He could never get that sort of thing right, just couldn't do or say the right things.

"I have another paper here... It's for Naruto. I figured you could give it to him."

Sakura looked up at Neji. Because her eyes were damp with tears, Neji had the absurd idea that her eyes somehow looked like deep, green lagoons. How stupid.

Sakura took the paper and put it in the tiny black purse that she carried with her. Offering a feeble smile, she said, "I was going to go to Naruto's place after the funeral today, anyway."

Neji nodded. He threw both of their empty paper cups away. They were done there, and had no more to say to each other.

"Well, I'll see you around the campus." Sakura smiled again, but this time it was a bit brighter. He felt a shallow warmth from that smile that he had seemed to be lacking that day.

"Yeah." He nodded, but did not smile. His mouth was set in a grim line as he put his thick, black dress coat over Sakura's pale, bare shoulders. When she gave him a confused look, he nodded to the door.

It had started to rain.