Shattered

•Nine•

THEN

I grabbed a few clothes, hangers and all, out of the closet and shoved them into a suitcase.  Next I rummaged through the top drawer of the dresser, grabbing panties and socks and tossed them in as well.

In the bathroom, I managed to bag up all my make up and toiletries, nearly forgetting my toothbrush.  My heart was pounding fast.  I was shaking.

Jack's dress shirt was still balled up at the end of the bed.  It made me angry that he didn't even try to get rid of it after I stormed off.  I dumped my toiletries into the suitcase, then bent down to pick up Jack's shirt.

Holding it by the shoulders, I lifted it up and shook it out.  The sting of betrayal hit hard once again, the smear of lipstick on his collar taunting me. 

"It must be ink," Jack had lied when I threw the shirt in his face.  How stupid did he think I was?

We had fought before.  I had thought it was getting better; I thought we were happier.  I was more attentive and I did my best to make him happy.  I was a good wife.

But it wasn't enough for him, apparently.  I was tired of getting mad at myself because of him, though.  His betrayal was not a reflection of me as a wife, I knew that now. 

I balled the shirt back up and tossed it across the room, letting out a yell.  I closed my eyes and tried to compose myself, breathing in and out slowly.

Jack fucked up and he fucked up good. 

Unzipping my dress, I stepped out of it and went to hang it in the closet.  Back to the dresser, I pulled out a pair of jeans and the first available t-shirt.  As I wiggled into my jeans and zipped them up, I heard the garage door go up.  I stopped breathing.

Nononono.  I clenched my jaw in anger and pulled my shirt on quickly.

Jack's heavy footfalls came bounding up the stairs and I quickly zipped up my suitcase, grabbing the handle.

Before I could turn to face him, Jack grabbed me by the hair and pulled me back.  He turned me around and angrily stuck his face into mine.

"You're not fucking leaving me, Chrissy!" he spat.

My eyes were wild, tearing up from the pain he was causing me.  He had a good grip in my hair and any tug felt like my scalp would rip away.

I smacked his arms with my hands.  "Let go!"

He tossed me back to the bed and I caught myself against it, standing.

"Get your shit out of there and put it away."  His voice was calm now but I knew if I didn't do what he said, he wouldn't remain calm for long.

But I was so tired of being bossed around, of being so goddamn faithful, just to be laughed at by him in the way of infidelity.  I gave him everything and here he was, thinking I'm the one who was going to ruin our marriage by leaving?

"I told you, I'm going to Grace's!  You prick, that really hurt!"  I reached back and rubbed the nape of my neck.  "Don't touch me again, Jack!  You're making it worse!"

Jack's nostrils flared and he smiled.  "Chrissy.  One last time.  Put your shit away.  Now."

"Jack, please.  I can't do this anymore!" The tears were spilling out of me now.  "I need time to process everything!  You've completely broken my heart, Jack!"

I waited, hoping for him to realize how mean he was being.  He didn't budge, didn't say a word. 

I shook my head and angrily wiped my tears away.  "I need to leave."  I grabbed the suitcase and lifted it off of the bed.