Letters To My Future Self ~ Awesome Ash

January 27th, 2014

January 27th, 2014

Hello,

I know you are reading this and are probably 32 (just realized you had a wattpad account and wrote letters to yourself lol) but hopefully you read this and if you do, find inspiration, laughs and a few stories to share with family.

I don't know where you are in life but I hope it's where you find happiness. I know I want a husband and a few kids (at least 2) but it might not have turned out that way. Mom always said you never know what is going to happen and I know that's the case. We never truly know what our life is about until it's almost over. I hope you have a stable job because I am a little undecided about our future (I'm thinking science related mainly Biology) maybe someone or something will come around to change that.

I started reading stories on here to get away from reality. I read stories of love and happiness and hopefully I found that. I can't say I have lived a teenage life at 16 and have never had a boyfriend that hasn't been in a book. Mom tries to get me off the computer and my tablet especially when she needs help with Harmony and Adam, I'm sure you will hear a lot about them.

Right now it is hard to live in this house. If you can't remember 4 years ago when you were 12 mom and dad were struggling, in the end we had to move in with grandma and grandpa along with that we had to put down your 1st dog(Pongo) that you had since you turned 4. At first everything was great, everyone got along but at the end of year 2 dad got laid off from his job.Things got bad grandpa slammed dad left and right and with dad's mental illness he wasn't the easiest to live with. Luckily Mom still had her job but it didn't bring much. I can say that dad has struggled a lot through these years but finally managed to get a fulltime job last September. But with every good thing comes the bad, last year just so happens the same day dad got laid off the year prior, Mom got fired from the job she had for 12 years and was given no reason. I can say that has put a damper on things but Brooke( our sister) and Trey( our brother) have paper routes that bring in money for food while dad's check pays the bills. We still have a lot of troubles but we are living through them. Through all of this 2 years ago your cousin Michelle dropped her two children(Harmony then 1 now 3, and Adam then 6months now 2) off at our house occasionally coming to see them or take them for a few days then return them giving us no help to raise them! Finally last August mom and dad received temporary custody of them, now 6months later and Michelle just found out a few days ago she is pregnant with her third child with a new guy Alex. The two children that we have share a dad Allen and he has a child with a woman named Erica that was born between Harmony & Adam, and now has a girl named Hannah pregnant. Everything is crazy but I will say that it has to be living in a house with Mom, Dad, Brooke, Trey, Harmony, Adam, Grandma, Grandpa, 16 dogs, 1 cat, 1 guinea pig, and a pig that used to live in the house but now resides in the garage!

Now that you are caught up on our living terms let me tell you about school and your social life. You are homeschooling(OHVA then Ohdela for 7th & 8th now back at OHVA) have been since 3rd grade and as I mentioned before you are 16 and have never had a boyfriend or been in any relationship, heck you have never even hung out with anyone outside of school(pre-3rd). I can say it gets lonely wishing you had what everyone else has but you live through Brooke and give her advice. But to be quite Frank you are socially impaired ( hence the reason you read books and live through your sister!) that's not to say you haven't did anything socially you went to D.C in 8th grade with Ohdela, a week without family and with COMPLETE STRANGERS and got on a boat for the first time(the food was awesome!) and your 9th grade year at OHVA you went to your first dance (even if the only person you danced with was 2 at the time and named Harmony, and again the food was amazing!) you feel awkward dancing in front of strangers but at home when Mom is watching you do the exact moves to One Direction- Best Song Ever (if you don't know who they are look on youtube.com hopefully that is still around) People outside of your immediate family do not know what a funny, exciting, crazy, energetic and overall AWESOME person you are! You don't have any friend unless you count Eric but he is more in the category son of family friend that you talk to on Facebook occasionally. Trey, again your younger brother is the only boy in your life taking you to movies (5 last year) buying you food and being the best brother!

Yes in case you haven't found out I haven't mentioned a job, you don't have one! It's not like you are lazy and don't want to work (okay maybe a little) but it. also has to do with your heavy periods ughh :(

I should probably get to bed considering I have school in the morning and it's already past midnight! [don't worry I normally stay up late one of the benefits of homeschooling :)]

Hopefully there will be more letters to come,

Yourself, Awesome Ash :]

[P.S Inspiration comes from the people and things around you!]