viridity. kth x jjk / vkook

one

KTH | 8:37 p.m. | apartment balcony

he looked over the edge too often.

he'd always stand over the railing, a foot slipped in between the little, silver poles and hanging over the streets. he would consider it; should i jump? but then he'd stop and turn around and slap himself because he was too scared again. he was so useless he couldn't even kill himself.

he would go back down the old, concrete stairs to his apartment that always smelled of cigarettes and beer, and lay on his bed and stare up at the ceiling and stay that way for the rest of the night.

he'd count the cracks in his walls and count how many breaths he could take in a minute, and then he'd sleep for an hour or so and wake up and start crying without even knowing why.

he was breathing.

he was surviving.

but he wasn't living.

he wasn't walking back and forth on the ground; he was hanging onto the cliff for dear life, unable to do anything. unable to die, unable to climb up and walk like everyone else, and unable to let go because he had things to hold onto. he had things he needed to protect, people he needed to protect, and that meant he needed to hold on.

hell, he wasn't even really surviving.

self destruction isn't surviving.

he was just existing.

not doing, not living.

existing.

that's all i am.

im useless.

he turned around and headed down the stairs again.

JJK | 2:45 a.m. | corner convenience store

"has uni killed you yet?"

jungkook sat at the counter with his head leaning against the wall, eyes shut and mouth hanging half open as hoseok laughed.

"cause it's sure as hell gotten started on it's slaughtering of jeon jungkook, also known as me."

"the only thing that could ever kill me is my drug problem," hoseok said. "university's pretty chill. i'm taking the bare minimum." he leaned over and poked at jungkook's cheek. "but you, my friend, are such an over achiever that you have a full schedule of the hardest classes they offer to a freshman. no wonder you're dying already."

"don't fucking remind me," jungkook muttered, turning his head so that he was facing the wall, his forehead still against it.

they both looked up when the chimes rang, signaling that someone had come into the store.

hoseok and jungkook were used to the store being empty during their shift, which went from 1:00 in the morning until 4:30. it was hellish, working during the hours of the day they needed to sleep, but it was all they could do, and they needed the money to pay rent. namjoon and seokjin worked too, at around the same hours at a gas station nearby, and even with all four of them working as much as they could, they barely were able to scrape up enough money to keep their two bedroom apartment.

the boy walking in was tall and thin, and although he had broad shoulders that made him look more built than he was, his thin arms and small waist gave away his skinny frame. his eyes were dark underneath as if he hadn't slept in days, and a little bruise ran across his cheek, just beginning to yellow and fade.

hoseok's eyes followed the boy until he disappeared into an aisle, and he looked to jungkook, cocking his head.

"you think he's feeling okay? he looked dead."

"probably another uni kid," jungkook mumbled, leaning against the wall and turning away again. "i'll be in that state soon enough."

hoseok rolled his eyes, muttering something under his breath about pessimists and over achievers, as the boy reappeared, stumbling to the counter holding a six pack of beer.

he seemed to slump forward a bit as he set down the liquor, and he was getting paler by the minute, nearly falling forwards from the weight of the beer.

"that's going to be 15.83."

the boy's eyes visibly widened, and he hesitated for a moment before silently sliding a 10 dollar bill to hoseok.

jungkook's eyes fluttered open and he looked at the boy skeptically. beer? was he a frat boy?

but his suspicions were proved wrong when the boy's voice came quiet and timid.

"i... it's all i have. ten bucks."

"kid, i'm not sure if i'm allowed to just let you take the beer without paying."

"please."

his lips were trembling, and his voice wavered. "i... i really need it."

"why would you need beer?" hoseok asked, slowly, carefully.

he felt terrible.

if he'd been the person running the store, he would have gladly let the boy take the liquor without even second thought. his glossy eyes and timid voice were heartbreaking. he was begging hoseok.

"listen. i would let you take it right now if i was the head of this place. but i'm not, and i really can't afford to-"

"he'll kill me."

jungkook raised an eyebrow.

the boy looked terrified, dark eyes wide open and lower lip trembling uncontrollably. why did he seem so scared?

and then hoseok gave up, eyes fluttering to jungkook.

"hey, kook? do you have six bucks?"

and when the beer was paid for, the boy ran off, mumbling apologies and thank you's with that timid voice of his.

// y'all i have no idea where im going with this fanfic hahahaha i have nothing planned.