the last days of presley fink; editing

day v

a/n; only 2 more chapters guys. i'm thinking of making a chapter contest after it ends [ no one will enter cx ]

December 29 ▬ 10:00 am

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❝How are you planning to do it? ❞ Grey whispered to me. I raised my head from his chest to meet his green eyes filled with confusion. His hands caressed my back bringing me comfort and my body relaxed against his, making me lose my train of thought.

❝How are you planning to do it? ❞ He propped himself up on his hands, bringing my body with his up into a sitting position. I raised my head to look up into his eyes and my chest was crushed against his. I could feel that his heartbeat, calm and steady, was drastically different from mine, quick and irregular. I swore I stopped breathing for a moment before choking on my own words

❝What do you mean? ❞

❝How are you going to die perfect? Is there a goal you're trying to reach before you die? ❞ I leaned my head against his chest, avoiding the question. How was I going to explain to him that I hated myself? That I wanted to die. That I wanted to be perfect like everyone else. I was the odd one out all the time, whether it'd be being picked last for gym class or being the last person to go home because my dad forgot. I'm always that girl. I don't want to be her anymore. After the depressive thoughts and repressed childhood memories, I cried for the first time in years.

I felt Grey's strong arms wrap around my body while I trembled in his arms. Hot tears dripped down his naked chest. He rocked me back and forth, trying to pacify me like my father used to do years ago.

❝I don't know yet. ❞

❝Do you want anything for breakfast? French toast, apple juice, strawberry banana smoothie? ❞ He yelled while rummaging the full fridge. For a place so abandoned and surrounded by nature, the cabin seemed to always be stocked. I'll have to ask Grey about it later. My stomach grumbled at the mention of food and my immediate reaction was to forget and suppress. But I needed to be strong, for Grey, I guess.

❝French toast with a strawberry banana smoothie. ❞ At least those are healthy things. I won't gain a lot. I can't gain a lot. After only seeing his butt in front of my face, he closed the fridge with eggs, toast, and fruits in hand. I looked down on my empty plate and I noticed little cracks in it. The jagged lines formed ❝ e a t ❞ in huge letters. Taking my attention away from the plate, I looked at Grey cooking eggs on a black pan.

❝How can I help? ❞

❝Well, you can start making your smoothie ❞ He waved the spatula in his right hand to the wooden counter next to the sink. Strawberries, blueberries, bananas, and kiwis covered the whole counter. The blender was behind it, already on indicated by the flashing red light. I glanced down on my plate to notice it free of cracks and demands. I put this at the back of mind and slid off my stool to help Grey.

As I watched the blender chop all the strawberries, I bit off little pieces of my French toast. At first, I refused to eat it as bile worked its way up my throat. But I found myself eating more and more of it.

[this is what everyone wanted right? for me to eat again]

I stopped the blender and unattached it from the blade. I poured the cold smoothie into a blue cup I found and started to drink the sweet concoction as I placed the blender into the sink.

❝After you're done with your food, do you want to go out today. Explore the woods and all that jazz. ❞ I choked on my smoothie when I heard the phrase ❝ all that jazz ❞ spill out of Grey's mouth. He looked back from the fireplace, concerned about me, but I nodded at his idea about going into the woods. I tiptoed to his side and sat down into his lap. My body molded perfectly with his and I felt warm, not from the fireplace, but from him. His arms snaked around my stomach and my cheeks turned a beet red color.