[ let's all take a moment as i formally start this story with the park brothers' picture because damn they both look fine af ]
well that was formal. sarcasm intended
i kept checking my phone every second and it's all because of jinhyun.
8:06 pm
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hyunie: welp i think im sick :< 8:06 pm
seulbi: erm y dont u take a healthy pill? 8:06 pm
hyunie: wdym a healthy pill(?) 8:06 pm
seulbi: look im not good with medicines so just take a damn- pill that can cure ur inabilities 8:07 pm
hyunie: u should've said it earlier cuz i know a pill that can definitely cure my 'inabilities' 8:07 pm
seulbi: wat 8:07 pm
hyunie: hmm idk but it kinda rhymes with 'hug me' mind if u could give me that pill ? ;^D 8:07pm
seulbi: well that pill is very rare only people who knows each other in rl can have that pill 8:07 pm
hyunie: let's meet at the local subway 8:15 pm
seulbi: wait wat when? 8:15 pm
hyunie: right now 8:15 pm
seulbi: ill b there 8:16 pm
seulbi: im here 8:30 pm
seulbi: where tf are u? 8:36 pm
seulbi: KIM JINHYUN !! 8:57 pm
seulbi: dont tell me ure a fufkin middle aged man whose sitting right beside me pls dont 9:02 pm
i bit my lower lip as thousands of thoughts devoured my mind. i didn't want to listen to myself and stoop low to think that jinhyun, the one who makes my heart flutter, is a pedophile. and i mostly don't want to judge this old man because of my anxiousness.
i slowly move my head towards the old man. his eyes met mine making me bow my head in respect, "good evening."
he returned my greeting with a smile as he slowly stood up to leave. i held his hand to support him, and no matter how much i try to sense if i feel something weird, the more i feel that he's not really jinhyun.
i must be hallucinating to jump into conclusions like this.
i shake my head vigorously as i step aside my delirious self.
an online relationship isn't a very ideal thing to do as a woman or as a person in general. it made me question myself if i'm really that desperate to be loved by someone. at first, an online relationship was the weirdest thing i think i'd ever do, let alone think that i'm here, agreeing to meet with someone i met online.
but it's life.
i did everything to stop myself, but my feelings won't let me.
ever since we started talking, i've never been more happy.
maybe i was too curious about how it feels to know that someone loves you. i was just a girl who'd rather choose temporary happiness than nothing at all.
my eyes were starting to water and that's when i realize that my heart was becoming more and more heavy as the station starts to empty.
i took a deep breath, taking a look at my wristwatch. "9:42 already?"
was it like any other day?
should i wait a little longer?
i forced a smile, my knees felt weak but i muster all my strength as i finally stood up. i took one last look around, but i saw no one. "well, there's always a next time. right?" i clutch the strap of my bag, i was holding it too tightly but i ignored the pain as i stifle a bitter smile, "right?!"
??? pov
i shouldn't be feeling this way, but looking at you is already painful.
seulbi-ya, you have no idea of how much i wanted to hold you.
but i'm so afraid.
i'm afraid i won't be able to control myself because you're someone i can't like. someone i can't have.
i'm always longing for her yet i couldn't even take one step closer to her.
seulbi's pov
the moment i took one step away from the bench, i was welcomed by a smack on my head, "pabo." i didn't really need to look who that person is because one; i'm not in the mood to play around, and two; he's just seojun.
"move." it came out rude and harsh, but he's not someone who buys that easily. i know that he knows something was off and that there's something bothering me, and i just hope he would just shrug it off. seojun held my left shoulder, preventing me to take another step.
i didn't really need to see his face to know that his expression changed. the atmosphere is a lot heavier right now, and a serious seojun is something really hard to handle, "spare me a look, will you?"
i remained still, looking at his chest. my lids were barely opened, and i just want to lull myself in drowsiness.
my silence actually brought reassurance to seojun.
he heaves a long sigh before mumbling, "fine." his hand that was on my left shoulder slowly snook its way behind my back as his other hand does the same thing. it brought warmth in my body, and it made me feel safe and the pain i felt starts to fade temporarily. "i'm starting to feel upset. i thought the reason why you always come here is because you're waiting for me." i can imagine seojun pouting his lower lip as his grip on me tightens.
and here i was, wishing jinhyun was able to take this pill.
