Late Night Musings and Obsessions with Death

Begonia (tw)

dragging my fingers across the walls
because i just want to feel something
i'm sick and tired of feeling so small
and being treated like i'm nothing

sometimes okay, but mostly broken
diamond tears and ruby-strewn wrists
so many things that must stay unspoken
can't clear my mind of this eternal mist

i thought we were friends but clearly
you don't really care about me so
i'll hold your memories close to me dearly
but don't think i won't let you go

so, let me find a way to put myself
back together again, i'm scared
i'm drowning and screaming for help
oh, if only someone cared

i don't think my body was built for
this much pain, it'll soon collapse
and i have a feeling down in my core
that if nobody helps, i'll relapse

diamond tears and ruby-strewn arms
what a beautiful sight to see
the smoke and the fog blocks out the stars
but i'll always remember that you left me

insults! insults! what did i do to
deserve this sort of treatment
i thought i could trust you
i don't think you even thought to repent

and i'm lying in my bed
feeling heartsick and dead
got this feeling in my head
wanting my wrists to turn red