jack
everything happened so fast; in one snapped i lost amy, i fucking lost the only girl i've ever loved with all my life, and there's no one to blame but myself. I can't believe i let her slipped through my fingers that easily; fucking stupid me.
i'd never thought that she would suggest such thing liked to run away with me, perhaps she was in shock to the news that her parents told her that's why she said those things and i'm just so worried that she might regret that decision later that's why i didn't agree with her.
but that doesn't mean i don't love her just because i didn't support her, it's just that her idea is so wrong in all angles. I wonder what her parents would think, if i agree with her, for sure they would be worried as hell and be devastated; to think that amy was the only child they had left after noah - their elder son and older brother of amy left their house a few a years ago.
i know how her parents trust me enough to take care of their daughter and i can still remember the time when i met amy's parents for the first - they're very generous, nice,respectable and very hospitable people, you wouldn't think that behind those happy facade of them, their relationship is slowly falling apart. whenever amy is with me and i see that she's feeling like lost and sad, i knew that she just witnessed another cruel fight of her parents in their house again, that's why i couldn't blame if she rather want to be anywhere with her friends or me than to stay in their house.
therefore whenever she's with me, i do all the things that i could just to make her happy; i always do things that would helps her to forget the problems she had at home even though for a while, because it's fucking hurt to see her sad and lifeless; it breaks my heart to bits.
but now that she's gone, how am i going to do that again? I hate to think that she didn't even let me explain what i had to say.
if she could only know how much it hurts me to hear that she's going to leave me and go with her dad to other side of the fucking world - the thought of it nearly killed me.
of course, i don't want her to go, i don't want to be far away from her, because i don't think if i could spend a damn single day without hearing her voice, her adorable laughs that bring joy to my heart, her stubborness, witiness and sarcasm that made me fall in love with her.
and i don't think if i could last a day without feeling her body pressed against me and those soft lips of her that i fucking love to devour every moment that we were together. hell yeah, i'm going to miss all of that.
i was about to say to her that even though she's going to leave me to come with her dad to sydney, i'd never going to break up with her despite of million miles away that would tear us apart together.
i'm still willing to continue my relationship with her because i love her so much and i don't want her to think that this distance is the only thing that would break us up.
though i admit that long distance relationship doesn't sound appealing to me and the thought of it makes me sad, it's okay for me to suffer as long as i know that amy is not going to leave me for good.
but fuck, she didn't even let me finish saying what i was going to say, her emotions took over her.
i should've said it in a way that i didn't freak her out, i guessed she thought that i didn't love her anymore which isn't true and i fucking hate myself to think that i broke her heart.
i know what i'm going to do now, i just can't let her go away that easily. we've been through so much together and what we've had is fucking hard to toss aside.
