What trust can lead to

Prologue: Observations

Prologue: Observations

I never did realize before how she really was. she was very different from the rest of the class. she was silent and mostly kept to himself. she has a few friends but barely talks to them. When I first saw her I thought she was one of those snobby girls that have a big ego. But that wasn't exactly the case, it frightened me really when I found out how she really was. I'm not quite sure if I was too late but I hope I wasn't, I want to help as much as I can.

I first met her during the first day of sophomore year, she was a transfer student. She walked through the doors a bit tentatively but I could see that she tried to show some amount of confidence as she strode through the room. she didn't say anything like the rest of us, but there was something different about her. I could never exactly point out what but I have to admit it intrigued me. I've always wanted to be a Psychology major when I go to college and she seemed like an interesting subject.

she was rather plain, she has clear violet eyes and short strawberry blonde hair. She always has her earphones on and didn't seem to take them off, only during lessons. I notice that she's those people who took notes dutifully. she's also an amazing artist, she draws during free period, people around her fawn over her work. Sometimes she sings the songs she's listening too, her voice was low singing Japanese. she's what they call an Otaku, anime fans. Then again I should have noticed that her bag was also from an anime series.

I never did realize her odd behaviour, she only talks to a selected few and would sometimes pass by you at halls. I thought she was just those snobs, but later I learned what was really wrong and it scared me a little. After all she was quite young and based from what she tells me her life isn't that bad, but was she lying? After all not everyone like's sharing their problems and she looks like a secretive person.

The first time I realize when I got a glimpse of her eyes. she was singing another song, it was low but I could hear it. I casually glace at her and she looked at my side. I caught a good look at her eyes and I held my breath. So many emotions were forcefully being shoved down her eyes, never to be shown. It was rather frightening, I haven't seen something like that. she's hiding her emotions but not too well. I was dazed for a moment but snapped out of it once the teacher came in. I never forgot that incident again.

The second time I realized it is when I actually tried to confirm it. It's been a month since I saw her eyes. I was rather bothered and then decided to study her behaviour and I learned very unnatural behaviours. she was isolating himself, I noticed that people are trying to approach her but she won't let her barriers down, she's rejecting offers of possible friendship herself. she has quite strange habits. She would sometimes look at her wrist even if she doesn't have a watch. That's the most disturbing one and rather worrying. Could she be cutting himself? I won't know till I see her wrist.

The third time I finally confirmed it. That time during lunch I approached her casually. she was picking her things getting ready for lunch. I had an excuse; I needed her notes for our literature class. I smiled casually when she looked up; she blinked once then asked me if I needed anything. I smiled again.

"I needed to borrow your notes for literature." I said shyly, scratching my neck.

she smiled "alright." she handed me her notebook and our eyes met.

What I saw really frightened me; her eyes were hollow of emotion and almost seem darker, dead even. There were no emotions being shown. her smile never reached her eyes, it was saddening. Whenever I looked at people's eyes they were quite expressing and their faces reflect whatever emotion they were showing. she was different, she hides her emotions and her face does not reflect what she's feeling. That day I observed her even more and slowly it turned into an obsession.

Sometimes I talk to her, try to strike a conversation. My efforts sometimes pays off whenever I see a genuine smile, or maybe even a laugh that doesn't feel hollow. Sometimes I tell myself that she's finally opening up to me. she would give me a smile or wave whenever we pass by in the hall way and sometimes she would call me by the nickname she gave me. It made me smile.

Then later I found her constantly within my mind. It became an obsession, after all I observe her too much and try to figure her out. I don't know. All I know is that she fills my mind, I always see her face, always think about her. I would frown whenever her face was displeased about something. A light frown on her face and her eyes down. Sometimes whenever the emotion was strong her jaw would slight tighten but it was quite unnoticeable unless you look closely. I was rather worried whenever she couldn't hold her emotions and would look as if about to cry. I want to help but she wouldn't open let her barriers drop. she wouldn't let me in her borders.

We became closer and sometimes I could see genuine happiness. I was really proud of myself then. Maybe she would trust me a little more. I hoped that maybe she would find true happiness. she has a kind but fragile soul and she deserved so much. As I watch her interact with others, it almost seemed like a façade, she was always guarded. she still wouldn't open her borders, she was still hesitant to interact. But I'm still hoping that maybe she would open up soon, that she would trust more.

Sometimes she gives me a difficult time. Always guarded, always careful. At times she would open up to others but it was a rare occurrence. I can't seem to get her to loosen up. And my classmates are not making things any simpler. Some would avoid her and others would tease her, which did not yield positive results. She seems to dislike most of our classmate, if her scowl was any indication. Of course my peers won't take the hint and continue to tease her.

I'm so frustrated but there is an upside, maybe, just maybe if I show how sincere I'am I can finally get her to open up to me. Just maybe I can at least show her that not all human beings are horrible. Maybe just maybe I can get her to trust me.

Maybe then I can understand what am I feeling.