Project Fat Suit

Nineteen: A Day at the Park

Suddenly I felt it. The something-worse-than-hell came. About 50 pounds came crashing on to my stomach as I lay on the floor.

“What the—”I cut myself off once I opened my eyes and saw that Sam had just sat on me and was now watching me curiously. “jell-o,” I finished my not-so-explicit phrase. “What the jell-o are you doing here, Sam?” I saved myself from cursing in front of a 7 year-old.

“Why are you laying on the floor, Santa Clown?” Sam countered my question.

“I was tired,” I told him honestly, trying not to show the immense pain he was causing me at the moment.

“This is fun,” Sam commented as he went up and down from my heavy wheezing.

“Mmhhm,” I managed to say.

“Sam, get off of her,” Holly ordered him once I saw her in my view.

“Why are you always so mean to me?” Sam huffed as he reluctantly got off of my stomach and stomped away.

I thanked Holly with my eyes as I got, but I felt bad for Sam, who was now watching Kurt ride a duck-thing.

After sitting up, I realized that we had run to the park.

“I’m not mean to him,” Holly muttered under her breath, frustrated, but then turned to me with a smile, “Happy after-holidays!” she cried enthusiastically as she embraced me.

“Uh,” I managed to say awkwardly. “Happy Holly-day?”

“Ha-ha,” Holly laughed sarcastically. “Punny.”

“I know I am,” I said haughtily as I stood up from the ground and brushed myself off.

“You missed a spot. Oh wait, that’s—”

“Yeah, yeah. It’s my face,” I interrupted Uranus as he sauntered next to his girlfriend.

Where the heck are these people coming from?

“Be nice,” Holly scolded and hit her boyfriend on the arm.

“But she said it,” he complained as he rubbed the spot her Holly had hit him as if it actually hurt him. “And she set herself up by wearing those pants.”

I was slightly embarrassed by this. I had totally ignored the fact that I was wearing my after-Christmas pants. They were basically a cheesy Christmas sweater in pants form, but they were comfortable. I had also neglected that I wasn’t wearing my suit. 

“Yeah, I’m just gunna go and get my brother,” I excused myself uncomfortably, wanting to leave before someone else catches me without my suit on or with my after-Christmas pants.

They seemed to be fine with that, murmuring they’re ‘mhmm’s and ‘whatevers’, so I turned to Kurt to see that he was teaching Sam how to run up the slides.

“Come on. Up. Up. Up!” Kurt encouraged as Sam had difficulty getting to the top.

“Kurt, stop being a bad influence,” I reprimanded my brother as he demonstrated running up the slides once more.

“I am not!” Kurt whined as he stopped midway on the slide and fell, causing him to slide face first to the ground. “Ouch,” he exclaimed when he hit the floor. I saw it coming.

“Santa Clown, catch me!” Sam suddenly ordered as he jumped up from the slide.

I gave out a small squeak before Sam jumped onto me. I desperately tried to catch him and I let out a sigh of relief once I succeeded.

“You’re heavy,” I complained after holding Sam for a while. Giving up, I set him on the ground.

“It’s the muscles,” Sam whispered and gave me a wink.