If Only For Tonight {GirlxGirl}

The Lucky Ones and the Losers

Has anyone ever heard of the Green Rider series? Just wondering ^.^

All these chapters are kind of random, ideas that explode into my head, so yeah. Not very original explosions, but, you know, explosions regardless.

~Ellie

It was three days after the party and I still hadn't been able to get my mind off of Sarah. And all the things Sarah said. Specifically the promise she had made, about making me fall for her. I had been sulking around the house and overthinking everything that had happened with Sarah up until this point. I was getting fed up with all the lonely worrying, so I decided to go visit the only person (besides my three best friends) who knew everything about me-including my sexuality. I grabbed my car keys and sped through the gates. I passed a couple stop signs without slowing even the slightest bit, but continued driving anyways. When I reached the Paradise Nursing Home (weird name for an old people house) I finally slowed and parked in the back, where private nurses and caretakers usually parked.

"Hey there, Kelsey. See my grandma anywhere?" I asked breezing in through the doors to the reception desk. Kelsey was used to seeing me, and smiled as she told me to go out to the gardens. I thanked her and made my way to the back, smiling and making quick small talk with a couple people I had met over the years from visiting my grandmother so much. I felt sad whenever I looked at them, the only people that actually came on a regular basis were the employees and I. Their families never dropped by, just left them alone with other lonely people.

"Oh my little Sweet Pea, there you are! I was wondering when you would come back!" my grandmother smiled as she saw me walk out into the garden. A grin split my face in two and I leaned over to hug her. She was sitting on a wrought iron bench in the shade of a willow tree I think. It looked like that talking tree in Pocahontas. She handed me some old bread crumbs and I sat down next to her, throwing them at the small birds gathering around our feet.

While I stared at the tiny birds hopping around happily, I could feel the intense gaze of my grandmother's deep blue eyes on me. I absolutly loved my grandmother's eyes. Mine looked exactly like hers, and it was really the only similar features we had.

"So, what's going on in your life?" she asked quietly as I turned and raised an eyebrow at her. Her voice was soft and gentle, warmly inviting me to share my problems with her, but letting me know that she wouldn't press me for an honest answer. I sighed and leaned back on the bench after dumping the rest of the bread crumbs onto the ground and wiping my hands across my jeans.

"I met a girl," I started. "I have a crush on her. Kind of like the whole "schoolgirl crush" thing. When I first met her, I was nervous, flustered. Gramma, I can barely even talk to her, she's like a machine that makes me stop thinking!" I explained, then watched my grandmother out of the corner of my eye, waiting for a response.

"Oh that's all? I've never seen you get worked up over a girl before," she laughed nonchalantly at me.

"It's not funny," I muttered, but I couldn't hold back a smile. "It's not like all the other girls I've dated. The way I feel about her is more like..." I paused as I searched for a word in my head, "Fascination," I concluded. "She says and does things that make me go crazy and I absolutely hate her for it, but I also like her for it. Does this make sense?"

"Not really. But  if you do have feelings for her, I suggest you tell her. It wouldn't be very nice to lead the poor girl on like a cat on a leash."

"Gramma, cat's don't usually go on leashes," I laughed. Plus Sarah was nothing like a cat. More wolf-ish, actually.

"Exactly!" she exclaimed.

"But anyways, you have it all wrong. I'm not the one leading her on. She's leading me like a cat on a leash," I sighed. "So I have to make her think that she actually isn't leading me on. If she's treating this like a game, then I sure as hell won't lose!" my fists were clenched in determination as I spoke.