I ignored the stinging feeling as I washed the dishes, my face throbbing from actions that had happened just moments ago. I could hear my brothers TV from his bedroom, he always knew to turn up the volume when things went sour. I never wanted him to hear the things said or the things that were done.
I wipe at my nose, finishing the last few dishes. Thankfully our father had left for a few hours, unfortunately leaving me to clean up his mess.
You'd think that after the first few beatings and the very first touches that I'd be out the door, but it's not that easy. I would have left after the first time but it was impossible... I was sixteen and had no money, no job. Now it's a bit different, I have a job and money but not enough, not nearly enough to support Eli and I. I have to feed us and clothe him, I have to make sure he can have a normal childhood despite the circumstances.
But I knew our days were numbered here, I was done with this. With the beatings and the touches and the overall abuse, I had to get Eli out of here before he got the same thing, thankfully he didn't because I was all my dad needed...
-
"I'll see you later, okay? I get out at 9 today." I tell Eli, hugging him like I always did. Our neighbor, Janie, constantly watched Eli for me when I worked. I never left him with my dad, I didn't trust him enough to leave my brother with him nor did my dad even care for Eli in any way.
"Okay, have a good day Nellie." Eli says with a small smile, a small bag of his stuff in his hand to keep him occupied for the day.
"Thank you again Janie, your really the best." I tell the older lady like I always do when I drop him off, she shakes her head, waving a hand at me like she always did.
"Don't sweat it honey," I give a small smile and turn out of the door ready to leave. "You might want to ice your cheek, before it swells." She says quietly and my hand instinctively goes to my face, I gulp unsure of how she could possibly know. But she always had a hunch about what went down at home, I'd once dropped Eli off with multiple red marks around my neck and blamed it on a wild night out... It wasn't though, more like a rough family dinner, how disgusting and humiliating.
"Uh, yeah, I will." I tell her and continue my way towards my car.
-
"Is your meal alright? Do you need anything else?" I ask and both men I'm serving shake their heads, polite smiles on both their faces. "No we're good, thank you."
I nod and continue my way through the restaurant with way too dark lighting. I remember when I first got hired I would trip all the time just because it was so dim and I couldn't see where I was going, now, I'm use to it.
"Noelle are you free after work?" Samantha asks from behind the host booth. I look at her and shrug.
"I have plans to pick up my brother..." She rolls her eyes at that. Samanta was one of my coworkers, she's kind of a forced friend ever since I got this job, I don't hate her but she's not my favorite person in the world. I'd say we tolerate each other.
"Wanna come with me to a get-together?" She asks and my head is already shaking in protest. "I can't I have to pick up my brother-"
"Just come for an hour, at least, I don't want to go alone. Can't your brother wait one hour at wherever he is?" She says and I sigh. She never understands the concept of responsibilities, however I rarely have the guts to ever say no to someone.
"Who and what's at this 'get-together'?" I ask her and she smiles as if I said yes and I'm 75% sure I did, I haven't had a time to breathe without thinking about Eli or the looming death knocking at my bedroom door at 2 am and I needed this, a 60-minute escape.
"Just some friends from my college, it's a house gathering, nothing big." She says and I nod. Some friends from my college. Two things I didn't have, an education and friends. I hated that Samantha was a year younger than me and had everything I didn't.
I shook off the ill feelings towards her and nodded once more, "Alright, I'm going to make a call real quick okay?" She giddily claps her hands and nods, happy that I agreed to accompany her.
I quickly make my way to the back room and pull out my phone, dialing up Janie. She answers on the second ring.
"Hello?"
"Hey, Janie can you do me a big favor tonight?" I ask, my nails in between my teeth, I felt guilty for going out but I knew better than to neglect myself even in times like these.
"Sure what is it?" She asks.
"You think you can watch Eli for like an hour more? Just tonight." I ask, my nerves getting the best of me. Maybe I shouldn't go out, I don't need to make tonight anymore complicated then it has to be.
"Sure! Even better why doesn't Eli stay the night? He'll be fine with Sparkie and I, you can have the night to yourself and pick him up in the morning, no problem, how's that sound?" Janie says and I suck in a breath. Could I do that? Leave my brother overnight? I trusted Janie but the thought of being away from my brother for longer than needed stressed me out...
"Um... I don't kno-"
"It's okay Noelle, have a night to yourself, He's safe with me, I promise." Janie promises and I close my eyes.
"Okay... well can I talk to him real quick?" I ask slowly, one night. he'll be fine.
"Sure, hold on- Eli, your sister is on the phone!" Seconds later I hear his voice and I let out a breath for no particular reason. Separation anxiety I suppose.
"Hey buddy, um tonight your staying with Janie, okay? Just for tonight, I'll be there in the morning to pick you up, how's that sound?" I tell him, hoping he doesn't mind.
"Why?" He asks out of curiosity, he'd never stayed over her house overnight. I stayed silent, unsure of how to answer him. Do I tell him it's because I'm going out or do I tell him a lie?
"Is it because dad-"
"No." I answer quickly, too quickly. "No, he has nothing to do with this, I just have to work later tonight and it's easier if you just stay the night, alright?"
"Okay, is that all?" He asks and I'm surprised at how much he doesn't mind.
"Um... yeah that's it, are you sure you're okay with sleeping over? You know you can call me if you need-"
"Nellie, I'll be okay, go back to work and let me go back to eating chocolate ice cream." Eli cuts me off.
"Okay, okay, I'll see you in the morning, I love you, be good." I tell him. He'll be fine. I'm overreacting and he'll be fine with Janie.
"I love you too." He tells me.
