What do you do when your heartbroken roommate that makes you question your sexuality falls asleep on top of you after crying over his ex boyfriend? I have no idea. Right now, I watch Alex sleep. He's drooling on my chest. I would be disgusted but he looks way too adorable. At some point, when I'm completely sure that Alex really is asleep, I start smoothing his hair out of his face. It's so soft, I want to bury my face in it. I don't do it because it's physically impossible and also, I'm not a creep. While I watch Alex, I feel myself getting tired as well. At some point, I lean my head back and close my eyes. I fall asleep with Alex in my arms.
When I wake up, Alex isn't there anymore. I sit up and look outside the window. It's raining. Great. I change quickly before I leave the room and call Ann on my way to breakfast. She answers the phone almost immediately.
"Soooo," she says, "You figured that homophobia issue out, if I understand your text correctly." I can hear her grinning.
"I guess I did," I say.
"You're in love with him?"
"I guess I am."
"And you were jealous of his boyfriend?"
"I guess I was."
She sighs. "Sam. I'm trying to make progress here."
"I know," I sigh too.
"Are you gonna tell him?" Ann is very excited about this. Maybe too excited.
"I don't know. I didn't even know I liked boys until yesterday," I snap at her.
"I'm very aware of that. I just want you to be happy."
"I know you do."
I try not to think about it. It works in classes. It doesn't work when ex-boyfriend shots me angry glances on the hallway though. He's standing there with another guy smiling, but when he sees me his face falls. I decide to wave at him and smile like we're old friends. It makes him turn away from me. I smile to myself.
I spend the evening with Alex, not talking about ex-boyfriends or new discovered sexualities. We're talking about classes, our families and everything else and I'm completely fine with it. Sometimes when I make a joke and Alex laughs, I'm even more sure about being in love with him. But I decide that I won't push it, that I will get used to it step by step. I think it's the best I can do. I don't even know if Alex likes me anyway and I also understand that he just broke up with his boyfriend. It must be hard, I think, especially that he caught him cheating. I think about that a lot.
I believe I would be a better boyfriend for Alex. Maybe some day.
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Hold Me Closer
قصص عامةAlex is just like any other college boy. He loves sweaters, hot tea, books, and cute guys. Sam is also just like any other boy and the exact opposite of Alex. Roommates for two years Alex is out and proud while Sam still hasn't figured out how he f...