Comically Yours

Perks of being single

Don't use toilet in your dream. It's a trap. ~ Armaan Mathur

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CHAPTER-4

I leaned on to Aashika and kissed her. We were in the middle of the kiss when she pulled back.

"Did I do anything wrong?"

"Wait, did I bit you? Sorry, I have this strange habit-" I said, joking.

"No. You didn't do anything wrong." She smiled before getting serious again. "You know I really like you."

"So, what's the problem?"

"It's just that I met my ex today and my feeling for him are resurfacing. Also, I have a new job offer and for that I'll have to move to Banglore."

"So what now?"

"I think I'll move to Banglore."

"I mean what about us now."

"I really like you but I am afraid it has to end. My ex-bf doesn't like comedians anyways."

"What about me?"

"I think you will like him. He is such a-"

"I mean we are so good together. Why can't you stay?"

"Armaan, I really like you," she said it for the third time.

I raised my brows. Usually I was on the other side of the table. I was the one who used to break up with the girls for petty reasons. Aashika was the first girl since high school for which some feelings spouted in the barren land of my heart.

"Okay I will give it to you straight. We are not each other's type; this has to end here."

"I don't understand. We have so much fun together. Plus, you said the sex is awesome. What else one can ask for?" I reasoned her.

"See, that's the problem, Armaan. There is no emotional connect. You speak to me in words. And I look at you with feelings."

I was sure I had heard these lines before. But it didn't matter at that moment. I was not sure how to react. I was speechless.

Later she gave me the clichéd- 'It's not you, it's me.' I was not even sure it was applicable here. Anyway, we broke up and I felt momentary sadness.

But then I found freedom.

Breaking up with her was freedom.
Being single was freedom.

***
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A week later

It was a day before my show. I was home alone and it was kind of perfect for me to write down the jokes for my upcoming stand-up. I laughed to myself as I penned down a joke. I know its lame but I always did that.

Writing jokes week in week out for the stand-up was not that difficult for me. I observed people around me and wrote down whatever funny things I noticed about them, be it their unusual behavior or some weird habits, or unique personality trait, before the show. My ex-girlfriend laughs used to sound like a horse's neighing. I found it hilarious. So when I told my audience that I met a girl who laughs as if a horse was neighing, everybody laughed except for my ex-girlfriend. That's why she's my ex-girlfriend.

Few of the times when I couldn't come up with anything funny before the show I usually made self-deprecating jokes. Or else I just said mean things to others. I found it funny that people find it funny when I say mean things to the others. But you know in a way it is reasonable to make everybody laugh at the expense of one person.

The profound silence of the room was broken when the door bell rang. I ignored the bell and quickly penned down the funny thought that popped up in my head before I forget it. Turning the deaf ears to the bell evidently pissed off the person waiting at the door as he now rang the door bell repeatedly. I ran to the door once I was done.