The Tragic Hum Of A Fairy (NaLu Fanfic)

Chapter 34 - Say Something

I took a deep breath. I couldn't lose control. 

"Luce, there's something I have to tell you."

She said nothing, just wiggled to one side of the bed, and gently gestured to the other side. With a gentle grin, I slowly made my way over to her bedside, using the crutch for the weight I still couldn't bear. Carefully, I maneuvered myself into the bed next to her, squished up beside her.

The blonde goddess beside me laughed, "It's just like when we were kids and we'd fight over the mat in your tent."

I laughed along side her, trying not to jostle her poor, fragile body, "You're right, except Igneel would always step in and make me give you the mat anyway because you were a girl and I was a "gentleman", apparently."

"You would always whine afterwards and try to shove me off in the middle of the night so you could take it. You were a little jerk!" she shoved me, playfully.

"I was three!"

"And now you're eighteen. Your point?" she laughed.

Her comment had brought me back to my original point though. I sighed.

"Natsu," she started, "Is this about what happened? Because I'm okay, really."

"No, I mean yes, I mean..." I looked over and gazed into her worried brown eyes that screamed for me to tell her what was bothering me. I don't know what was holding me back. I'd been waiting to finally have a reason to stay with Lucy forever and now I did. Only... What if she rejected me? What if she couldn't return my feelings? I couldn't live with myself. I would... I would...

Die.

I couldn't look her in the eyes. I dropped my gaze, "They're drafting me into the Fiore Military."

I could physically hear her heart drop and shatter against the floor.

"Wh-... What?"

Tears almost slipped down my face as I felt her inner pain. She expected me to confess. To say I saw her whisper those three words and say I returned her feelings. Maybe even ask her out on a date where we would laugh and talk until I walked her home and kissed her forehead gently. We would keep saying goodbye, until she finally gave up and invited me inside where we would watch a movie until we fell asleep on her couch. 

But I let her down.

"In three days they're taking me."

"I don't understand," her voice quivered, and hiccuped.

"It was a deal, if they helped us search for you, they get me in return, no struggle, no fight."

"Why... Why..." tears hit her blankets.

"I wish it could be different. The last thing I want to do is fight more but I don't have a choice. My hands are tied."

She murmured a question, so low I couldn't understand.

"What?"

"How long?" she yelled.

"At least two years. Until I complete the missions they need me for. I'm their secret weapon. A dragon slayer. Prince of Fire. Years of training hand to hand combat. Years of magical training."

"Are you going to be in any danger?" she whispered out between sobs.

"I'm... Not really." I lied. 

Front lines. Running head first into battle, fists ablaze. Head of my own department. Secret weapons are only secret until their first use, when they destroy a whole town. At that point, there's no point hiding them or trying to protect against them. Of course, there's a plethora of missions they need me for, so I was supposedly "number one priority". But how much does that matter in life or death?

"Natsu..." I looked over at Lucy. Tears were pouring down her face in an endless stream of terrible emotion and heartache. Without thinking, I wrapped my arm around her shoulders and pulled her into my chest.

"I just got you back. We just got back. You can't leave now. Not now." Lucy wailed into my thin gown; I stroked the back of her head lovingly.

So she was already feeling the effects of being mates. It's better if she doesn't know then. I can tell her when I come back. 

"I want you to stay here!" her voice cracked.

"I'm so sorry, Luce."

"You can't leave me!" she screamed.

"Luce."

"Why are you doing this?" anger boiled within her. 

"I'm sorry."

"I know you saw what happened that day! Why are you still doing this?" 

My eyes shot up and saw her tear-rimmed eyes staring me down. "You're a horrible liar! Nothing, my ass! That wasn't just me being spur of the moment. That was my dying wish."

"Luce... I... I-"

"No. Just get out." Her weak arms tried to push me out of her bed and onto the floor. 

Shock paralyzed me. "Wh-What?"

"Get. Out. I want to be alone." She continued shoving.

"Please let me explain," I begged, standing and falling over to her. 

"I've heard enough. I don't know why I keep doing this. You act one way, then say something else. Do you not like me? Is that it?"

I stared up at her from the edge of the bed, gripping the side with all my might trying to pull myself with this damned leg.

"Say something, dammit!" 

"I- I- I didn't want to hurt you by leaving matters unfinished between us. I don't know what else to say."

"Do. You. Love. Me?" 

"I can't tell you right now, please Luce, just trust me. Just this once."

"I can't believe this."

"It will make sense eventually but-"

"You're really doing this."

"I can't explain everything or somebody will get hurt."

"You're so full of shit." 

"Lucille Heartfilia, if you don't stop right now and listen to me, I will leave," I snapped.

"Then go." Tears streamed down her face. Gently, I reached up my hand and placed it on her soft face, brushing the tears away with my thumb.

For just a moment, she melted into my hand, allowing me to do what healing I could before I lost control. Her skin was silk under my rough touch, a piece of paper against destruction, and somehow, the paper was winning.

What if I could confess without confessing?

"Luce, look at me." She opened her eyes, meeting my gaze.

"You are the air to my fire. You are a whole different other side of me that I can't even describe. Everything you do is perfection and all I want is for you to be safe. Please, please understand."

She didn't say a word, but silently brought her hand up to my own and nodded. "I don't know what else is going on under the surface here but I trust you. Against my better judgement. And I don't know why."

I fought against my inner dragon as her soft skin brushed my hand. Smiling gently, I continued sucking the pain out of her. 

"Come see me off. In three days."

"Natsu, you've been in like a week and they still haven't released you. What makes you think they'll release me earlier?"

"You're going to have a speedy recovery."

~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_

Thanks for reading!

*I don't own Fairy Tail

~MelodyElaine