Inchoate

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Inchoate - Oftentimes, the beginning stages of a project or idea are a little messy or imperfect. This word addresses that early state of disarray.

I suppose that accurately depicts this. My rather chaotic life, which I'd rather suppress among all other things.

But ah, as this is the genesis, I suppose I should actually elaborate upon the primary focus of this. My personality type, the INTJ.

As an excerpt from the text of the website I used in order to discover this (https://www.16personalities.com/personality-types):

*Briefly Clears Throat*

  "It's lonely at the top, and being one of the rarest and most strategically capable personality types, Architects know this all too well. Architects form just two percent of the population, and women of this personality type are especially rare, forming just 0.8% of the population – it is often a challenge for them to find like-minded individuals who are able to keep up with their relentless intellectualism and chess-like maneuvering. People with the Architect personality type are imaginative yet decisive, ambitious yet private, amazingly curious, but they do not squander their energy. With a natural thirst for knowledge that shows itself early in life, Architects are often given the title of "bookworm" as children. While this may be intended as an insult by their peers, they more than likely identify with it and are even proud of it, greatly enjoying their broad and deep body of knowledge. Architects enjoy sharing what they know as well, confident in their mastery of their chosen subjects, but they prefer to design and execute a brilliant plan within their field rather than share opinions on "uninteresting" distractions like gossip."

That should provide a relatively firm description of myself, perhaps I shall go more in depth.

Essentially that blurb of text means that I am highly intelligent (supposedly), Strategic, (Overly) Analytical, Ambitious, and typically quiet. 

It's fascinating though. When I was younger I was intentionally the opposite of what I currently am. However, I did that to be accepted, although it was not entirely functional.

See, I was the typical popular, athletic child back in the rough ridin' days of elementary. But that was merely because I forced it upon myself. Previously I disregarded myself being similar to what I currently am, but I actually was, and presently am. 

When I was younger I would analyze television shows, and films that I saw of the type of male females would obsess over, and that males would gravitate to in friendship. I adjusted myself to that, conforming to society, yet there were parts about me I couldn't make adjust. In third grade I was reading at a high school to college level, in fact one day I brought a five-hundred paged book (which is minuscule to what I typically read now), and I plopped down and read it whilst the entire class gawked at me. 

I literally looked up from my book and nonchalantly, as well as innocently asked: "What?"

What?

It was simply natural to me. Reading was a path to my imagination which was restricted in these confinement centers of bland articles, and primarily irrelevant information. 

An acquaintance of mine boasted that he finished an entire series in a day, but that series contains roughly two-hundred to three-hundred pages per book, perhaps less. I finished more than half of the entire Harry Potter series in five hours or less. 

This isn't to boast, but I want to make a point. How excessively you read depends on the book. My reading level is equivalent to a senior in college. Yet that does not mean that I will conclude with every book in a matter of seconds. That scale is to cap the level I am capable of comprehending text-wise, not how quickly you can drop a book. 

Recently I have not been reading novels as frequently, and more so encyclopedias. This is merely because I haven't been that captivated by any novel recently. But please if you have suggestions give them to me, I crave for them.

That's the background on me I suppose, thank you for reading, and farewell.

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