Picking up the pieces (Student x Teacher) (MxM)

Chapter 3

She was pissed off her head, nothing new there then, as she came to a halt when she caught sight of Mr Anders.

"Well hello there handsome. And who might you be?" She practically purred as she stalked towards him. I ripped my hand from Mr Anders grasp to rush to my mother's side. I tried to coax her over to the couch but she was having none of it as she plastered herself to the front of the frozen, befuddled looking man.

"I'm Mr Anders Ma'am, Jamie's English teacher. I just came by to drop him off some work." Liar, he wasn't carrying anything. "And who might you be?" My cheeks went up in flames as Mr A...Julian flinched under mums fingers that was stroking along his lightly dusted cheek.

"Well aren't you a good man, taking care of my boy like that. I'm his Mama, but you darling can call me Fran." She purred into his ear, and I had to give the man credit for not bolting straight out the door he came in, or the nearest open window.

"I see and where might Jamie's father be?" My face drained of blood as I jumped into action, knowing full well what was to come.

I managed to catch her before she hit the floor and the sound of a tortured, dying animal left her lips. I sat on the hard floor, cradling her head in my lap as she let out all her pain. No one mentioned Dad in this house.

"It's ok Ma. It's going to be ok. You've got me." Tears leaked down my cheeks as I willed that to be enough for her even though I knew it wasn't. I was never going to be enough for her. She'd trade me for him in a heartbeat if she could. I would've done it for her if I could have but life and death didn't work that way. You couldn't bargain with death. Trust me, I'd tried.

I had momentarily forgotten Julian was in the room as I was swept up in the sea of my mother's pain until a strong hit of musky cologne penetrated my senses when he crouched down beside me.

I was shocked he hadn't ran for the hills and he shocked me further still when he lifted my mother from my lap as if she weighed no more than feather.

"Let's get you up to bed sweetheart." The tender smile he gave my mother had me putting up a dam to stop the flood of tears from pouring out. Why was he being so kind to a drunken stranger that had shamelessly flirted with him mere moments ago?

Mums sobbing had now reduced to hiccups as I followed Julian in shock up the stairs. If he hadn't been here, I and mum would have spent hours on the floor before she would've gone on the hunt for. Julian had come along and taken complete control of the situation though.

I followed after him up the stairs and into mum's room. I leant on the door frame, feeling useless and slightly in awe as I watched on.

Julian lay my mother gently down on her bed, stripping her of her filthy clothes and redressing her in a clean pair of pyjamas. Tears started to gather in my eyes again and I didn't want this man to see me cry anymore so I went to fetch my mother a glass of water.

I ended up in front of the kitchen sink, splashing cold water over my face. Get it together Jamie man; don't fall apart on me now. Just say goodnight and thank you to the guy, see him out and go back to bed. Forget about all of this.

I had to swiftly inhale as I felt a hard, muscular chest press against my back. Deep breathe Jamie. Thank you and Goodnight remember.

"Mr Anders..."

"Julian."

"Yes, erm, Julian I just wanted to thank you for what you did there and yeah, erm goodnight." Shit I sounded like a fumbling teenager. Well I was a teenager. Yes but that isn't the point. Oh great, now I'm arguing with myself.

"Jamie, it's ok." My fingernails bit into the palm of my hands till I felt the warm trickle of blood run down them. I took a deep breath, swung round to face Julian and then purged all my pain onto this man.

"It's ok you say? It's ok that my Dad died is it? It's ok that he made it home alive from fighting for this country only to be killed by some stupid fucking idiot on a phone while driving a car!? That's ok is it!? It's ok that the mother that loved me when he was around now barely acknowledges my existence. It's ok that our alcohol bill is more than our food bill? It's ok that every time I wake up and remember he's not here anymore it feels like my world is falling apart all over again? It's ok that I feel so much fucking pain and I don't know how to get rid of it? Is it ok that I feel so dam guilty because I'm so angry at a dead man for being dead, for leaving us, for leaving me to deal with this. Because it fucking doesn't feel ok Julian! It doesn't feel ok at all. Not one bit."

I found myself sobbing helplessly into his solid chest, his hand cupping the back of my head, his other arm around my waist as he gently rocks us from side to side. His chin rest on the top of my head. And I just couldn't care less. It seemed so insignificant to the pain I was feeling.

"None of this is ok Jamie, but it's ok to feel like this." He murmured softly against my hair as his hand ran soothing circles on my slumped back.

My forehead fell defeated against his tear soaked shirt that was practically see through at this point.

"I don't know what to do anymore Julian. Tell me what to do to make this better....please..." The last word came out as a whispered desperate plea.

"You'll be ok Jamie. I'll get you through this, I promise."