You're My Medicine, When You're Closed To Me. (2Doc)

The faded polaroid

Only two weeks.

Only two weeks to Baftas.

I wasn't psychologically ready.

Noodle is excited and full of great ideas for the new album, well her adventures were amazing in these years.

Russ is slowly getting it together, and he's trying not to pay attention to that strange sensation of loneliness that he sometimes feels.

Murdoc... Well of course he was fine. I saw his head bobbing to the rhythm of his bass.

Those black, long locks never stopped. His face showed disdain for humanity.

I was flipping channels, looking for something interesting to watch- Everyone left but me and Murdoc. He suddenly arrives, he seems really angry.

He starts yelling at me.

-FACHEACHE WHY AREN'T YOU SINGING! I WANT YOU TO PRACTICE! I WANT YOU TO TWEET LIKE A NIGHTINGALE! YOU MUST DO YOUR BEST LITTLE CHICK. IF WE LOSE FOR YOU, YOU WON'T WALK FOR A MONTH!

He took off his shoe to use that to slap me. I felt his cold sole that was leaving e a mark on my face.

Once.

Twice.

Three times.

At the third time I wasn't feeling anything anymore. I didn't even want to force myself to feel something. I didn't even want to look at him. I didn't want him to see myself suffering.

At least in his head he could think that I am strong, that I'm able to keep up with him.

He mustn't think that I'm not okay. That I'm feeling awful, a little useless spit in his huge self-centered universe.

What am I? Why is he even supposed to treat me in a good way?  Do I deserve that?

I offered him my other cheek to indirectly ask him to slap me again.

My dark circles were swollen and purple. I felt the blood coming out of my nose. But nothing was as painful as the tears that were crossing my cheeks.

I was nothing.

When someone thinks about Gorillaz, He thinks about a happy band, that doesn't transmit bad thoughts.  But there's more.

I lowered my eyes. And I prayed.

I hope He doesn't see me crying. I hope it won't happen.

I hear him raise the shoe up in air... And put it down on the floor. Then he went away.

Did he see me?

What did he think about?

Despite all of this I couldn't hate him. I couldn't loathe him. I was only able to admit he was right and to submit to him. I was able just o do that. As always.

I went to my room. To lay on my bed and to try not to think about what happened. Suddenly noodle came there.

-Stu! Stu! Stu! Tonight I must tell you something! We finally know the names of the other band that were nominated as "best British band" with us! I want to see you this evening! We have to discuss about our  competitors. She hugged me, she kissed my forehead and she scrambled my hair. He could give me that little quantity of hope I didn't have.

She was so little.. In the box..

Ad now she's grown up. She's a woman.

I fall sleep for some hours.

I see that hill again, and my climbing toward the orange, but I don't have time to finish.

I wake up to go to have dinner with the guys. We have to talk about Baftas.