hurt // obikin au [on hold]

e l e v e n

anakin pulls back, cheeks pink, and he stares at his shoes. he opens his mouth to say something, but he can't find words, and he shuts his mouth again. he wants to look up at obi-wan's face, but he's too scared to see the smug expression on his face.

"ani?" obi-wan's voice is surprisingly tender, and after a minute, anakin manages to look up at him. "there you are, sweetheart. was that okay?"

anakin swallows hard, and then nods. "sorry, i, uh..." he shakes his head.

"i know," obi-wan says gently. he brushes anakin's hair back, kisses his forehead.

"why aren't you laughing at me?" anakin finally asks.

"why would i laugh at you?"

"you're usually laughing at me."

obi-wan finally laughs. "yeah, i suppose i kind of am." he pauses, takes anakin's smaller hand. "i can tell. what to laugh at and not to. this isn't something to laugh at...i don't want to laugh at this. it was...it was special, anakin. beautiful. i like kissing you. i don't want to laugh about it."

"shut up," anakin mumbles, blushing.

obi-wan laughs again, kisses his forehead.

- - -

"i can't believe you told him," padmé whispers. "that's so unlike you."

they're sitting on the top of a hill on their campus, sharing a cheap bottle of moscato. they're nowhere near drunk, just warm, and there are a million stars in the sky. anakin likens the feeling to being around obi-wan, which is annoying.

"i know. i can't really believe i did either," anakin responds. he takes another swig of moscato. "he is changing me. every day. he makes me want to be better." his voice goes very small as he finishes his sentence.

padmé laughs. "he is. you're already softer." anakin glares at her. "no, it's good. you're...more approachable. i love you both ways, anakin, you know i do. just this seems more...right."

that makes anakin smile. "i love you, too, padmé. i'm sorry for...for everything."

she puts her arm around him. "forget it. i forgave you when it happened."

they sit in a comfortable silence until anakin's phone starts to ring.

padmé picks it up. "it's your boyfriend," she tells anakin.

anakin goes pink. "obi-wan is not my boyfriend!" then he answers the phone. "hi, babe." padmé snorts loudly, and he smacks her arm.

"hey," obi-wan says back. "where are you? i just got home and you're not here?"

"oh, sorry. i'm out with padmé. i left a note."

"okay. just wondered where you were. i'll see you when you get back," obi-wan replies, smile in his voice. anakin's affection for him raises even more when he realizes that obi-wan is more than willing to give him his space. 

"okay," anakin whispers back. he doesn't want to hang up. he hates himself for thinking that.

"you're so whipped," padmé notes.

"shut up," anakin mumbles, knowing it's true but not happy about it.

- - -

anakin tries to be quiet when he gets back to the dorm. for all he knows, obi-wan is asleep, and his boyfriend(?) is grumpy when he wakes up. anakin is somewhat shocked to realize that's about obi-wan's only flaw. the room is dark when he goes in, and he slips into his pajamas and gets into bed silently. he's just dozing off when he hears obi-wan move.

"anakin?" obi-wan's voice is sleepy, low.

"i'm here," anakin whispers back. 

obi-wan grunts, sits up, rubbing his eyes. "why're you over there?"

"...in my bed?"

"yes."

anakin squints at him in the dark. "what?"

"i want to cuddle with you," obi-wan clarifies. "can i come over there?"

anakin doesn't answer, just scoots over in the bed, closer to the wall. obi-wan lets out a relieved sigh and gets in the bed beside the smaller boy, pulls him close against his chest. he presses a tiny kiss against the back of anakin's neck. anakin wants to hate how safe he feels like this, curled up against his boyfriend's chest, obi-wan's heartbeat as his lullaby, but tired as he is, he can't lie to himself.

"i really, really like you, obi-wan," he whispers. he's not sure if it's the exhaustion or the moscato talking, but it doesn't really matter. either way it's true.

"why do you have to be so goddamn cute?" obi-wan questions in response, and anakin manages a sleepy smile. obi-wan kisses his sleepy mouth, soft, and they both doze off, safe in each other's arms.