Her Broken Wings - FINALLY Completed

Chapter 16

As I walked into Ashley's office, I could feel my entire body begin to tremble. It had taken all of my strength to drive here from the ball. Now that I was here, I wasn't sure what I was going to say. How could I tell the person who had been trying so hard to fix me that I was permanently shattered. There was no helping me now, not after Sam. He had ruined me. There would be no final piece falling into place, only a scattered puzzle that would never be solved.

Tears fell down my cheeks as I collapsed against the wall. Ashley found me there sometime later, sobbing and broken. She did not ask questions, she simply guided me into her office and helped me to sit. We sat in silence for what felt like hours as she made me some tea. By the time she brought me the warm mug, my entire being had gone numb. In some ways this was even scarier than all the pain. Instead I felt nothing. No emotion. I longed to feel something, anything but this numb void.

Ashley listened calmly as I told her that I would be leaving. She gave me a sympathetic look before her professional facade slipped back into place.

"I have a therapist I can refer you to there. I'll give him a call and tell him all that we have been working on." She got up and walked over towards the back cabinets. "In the meantime, I'll refill your sleeping pills so you won't have to worry about getting them down in Texas." She handed me the pale bottle. My hand numbly took the drugs. I had a feeling that I wouldn't be getting much sleep anytime soon.

"Thank you." My voice felt wrong, different, not quite me.

"Here is my phone number. When you're ready to talk about things, give me a call." With those last words her professional facade broke and she pulled me up into a fierce hug. I felt a small crack in my numb haze as I held onto her like a lifeline.

"I'll call."

She nodded. Giving me a sad smile she walked me out to the car.

I sat there in the parking lot for what felt like hours. Eventually I gathered the courage to call my boss and tell him about my abrupt departure. He took it well, better than I expected. He gracefully offered to write me a recommendation if I ever needed a referral. I thanked him, his kindness bringing tears once more to my eyes.

When I arrived back at the mansion everything was silent. The other's had not yet come back from the ball. After walking numbly up the stairs, I began to pack my things. The ache in my ribs made every movement painfully jarring, but it was easy to ignore the pain. I had dealt with pain my entire life.

But the pain I felt because of Sam was different than anything I had felt in a long time. It was like my mother's death all over again. The pain of her death was similar to the pain I felt now. This wasn't any type of physical pain, but for some reason it hurt worse.

I ended up curled up on my bed, not caring, just existing.

Zoey found me like that later. Her eyes just as red as mine. Sam had told her. She hopped up onto the bed next to me and just held me.

"He's an asshole. I don't care that he's my brother. I won't forgive him for breaking your heart."

I cried again. Zoey was a good friend, the best. When my tears finally calmed I turned to face her.

"No."

"What?"

"No. Zoey you love your brother. I won't be the thing that tears you apart." She protested but I shook my head. "Please. I don't want to talk about him."

Her eyes gazed at me in sad understanding. "Okay."

"I'm going to miss you Zoey." And I would, desperately. She was my only friend, the only person that I trusted with my whole heart and soul. She made me a better person.