The Chaotic Interim (boyxboy)

Chapter 30

The brunet had been watching his boyfriend and best friend closely over the last week. Every time he had to see them kiss or hug or hold hands he wanted to scream. He wanted to cry every single time Josiah’s face lit up simply because Ayden was telling him something that wasn’t even funny.

Carson wanted to push it all away and not read into it. But the fact of the matter was that he knew Josiah and Ayden had chemistry. How do people date for over a year and not have it? With all the history those two had, Carson knew they made a great couple. He just didn’t want to be in the way of it anymore.

He was pissed at himself for ever starting anything with Josiah in the first place. There had to be some kind of code he was breaking here--girl code, bro code, gay best friend code...something. You don’t date your best friend’s boyfriend while they are still dating. And you definitely shouldn’t do it while your best friend is on the verge of death.

Everything was getting to him lately. He wanted what was best for both of his friends. Which was why he had to do what he was about to. It had taken a lot of hard thinking and it pained him, but he didn't want to ruin what Josiah and Ayden could have if he just let them be.

"I think we should take a break," Carson said. He let his indigo eyes bore into his friend's. His voice was calm and devoid of emotion.

Josiah froze for a moment, letting his brain catch up to what was hitting his ears. He shook his head and narrowed his eyes. "We're already on a break, remember?"

"Fine, then we should break up."

Josiah's mouth popped open in surprise. "What? Why? No!"

"I just can't do it anymore. I'm done, okay?"

Josiah shook his head a bit frantically. “No. No, I am not okay with that.” He stepped around the open dishwasher and got close to the younger man. “Why would you say that?”

The brunet backed up as much as he could and turned his head away. “Joe, just stop. We’re d--”

The darker man moved close again and grabbed Carson’s wrists just firmly enough to keep him from running away. “You stop. Talk to me! Is this about Ayden? Is it about how I’ve had to pretend like nothing has changed?”

Carson closed his eyes and shook his head. “No.”

Josiah’s eyes softened and his tone grew quiet and desperate. “I’ll stop. I promise. I’ll tell her everything and I’ll break up with her, I swear. Just please don’t do this, Carson. I want to be with you because I love you.”

“That’s not what I want,” the brunet said firmly. “I don’t want you to tell her. She will hate us and I don’t want that.”

“Then what do you want?” Josiah asked, nearly in hysterics. He was panicking and he knew it, but he couldn’t stop it; not when he was so close to losing the person he loved. “Please, tell me.”

Carson swallowed the lump in his throat and forced his expression back to neutral. This was already hard enough, and he knew that if he burst into tears it would get them nowhere. Well, actually, it would get Josiah exactly what he wanted because Carson would surely cave. But the brunet knew that the older man being with Ayden was better in the long run.

The brunet shook the hands off of his wrists. Keeping his voice steady, he said, “I want to break up with you. I told you, we’re done."

Josiah shook his head, curls flying around. “You don’t mean it.”

Carson sighed and eyed his friend carefully as he went back to the dishwasher. This conversation was bad enough that he needed to do something in order to keep from blowing up. He wished that Josiah would let it go.