Bite Marks

Panic

I nodded taking another sip of the foul liquid Mia handed me.

"How much of this stuff do I have to drink?"

"Honestly I'm not sure. I can't smell the pheromones on you, well I can, but you just smell like every other unmated female in heat to me. I can't like gauge how strong it is. We'll have to have one of the guys give you a sniff test later."

I frowned. I didn't particularly want some stranger sniffing me, but I also didn't want to drink one more drop of tea than absolutely necessary.

"So what do we do until then?"

"Well I can answer more questions if you have them?"

"So if I'm not a submissive wolf then obviously I'm a dominant wolf, which means I have to fight?"

"Yes, but you don't have to fight all of them, some wolves, like myself, will recognize you as the dominant one and have no problem with it. Some wolves, like Sierra for instance, will not stop until they prove that you aren't dominant over them, or until you win."

"How do you win? You don't like kill each other do you?"

Yes I had killed some men in a warehouse, something I was repressing, but that didn't mean I was ready to end more lives.

"No! In some of the other packs it is a fight to the death, but my dad stopped that and Kane has followed his lead as alpha. Either your opponent submits, or you prove that you could execute a killing blow, you don't actually take it though."

"Okay, well that's good, but one problem I don't exactly know how to fight."

I could take a beating, I had become something of an expert over the years, but I had never fought back. I had taken some self defense classes in the early years of my marriage, but they didn't teach you how to fight, they showed you how to remove yourself from a life threatening situation when you were out of options. Some how I didn't think that those skills would be helpful here.

"Well, once you change you will have an advantage. When you fully share your body with your wolf you open yourself up to the instincts that comes with that."

"I'm not planning on changing any time soon so that's off the table."

"Cassie, you can't fight it forever, eventually your body will change with or without your permission."

"I stopped the change before and I can stop it again."

"What do you mean you stopped the change?"

I explained to Mia about the first time I was in this house. Throughout the story the color began draining from her face.

"You need to keep that to yourself. Don't tell anyone else what happened. I'm sure some wolves know, but I would bet that Kane has Commanded them to be silent. Cassie I'm serious you cannot tell anyone that you can do that."

"Why is it such a big deal?"

"I know that I have said a little about other packs, but those packs aren't like ours. They are much more savage and they do not follow the moral code Kane expects his pack to abide by. Most of the other packs are fanatics about blood lines and keeping the packs pure. They actively seek out rogues and eliminate them. Kane, while not a fan of most rogues, tends to leave them be unless something like what happened to you occurs."

"I still don't understand why Miguel had the rogues attack me or why he kidnapped me or my friend."

I didn't want to think about what went on in that warehouse. The killing I was okay with, but seeing Kelsey and Bradley like that. Having Miguel's hands on me. I felt tremors start in my shoulders, traveling down my arm until my fingers started twitching.

"Cassie, your scent changed. Are you okay?"

I blocked out the sound of Mia's voice. My mind stuck on repeat as I traded my freedom for Kelsey and Bradley. My chest was tight and I felt phantom fingers on my chest, between my legs.

"Cassie I think you need to sit down."

Mia's voice was far away, it sounded like I was wearing ear muffs. Noise couldn't penetrate the cocoon of fear and sorrow I had built around myself. I barely heard Mia talking to someone.

"I think she is having a panic attack."

I felt warm hands grip my upper arms. Rough and dry, not like the oily wetness of Miguel's hands. I looked up into Kane's face. His lips were moving, but the words didn't reach my ears. I didn't shake off the hands like my brain told me to, I just stood immobile, trapped in my own little world. It had been a long time since my last panic attack. I tried to remember my breathing exercises.

In through my nose out through my mouth. Eventually I started to calm. The clean, familiar, woodsy smell was helping. I blinked, darkness no longer clouding the edge of my vision.

"Cassie, are you okay?"

I could hear Kane speaking this time, but my body wasn't done with me yet. A shudder started at my chest and worked its way out. Little tremors caused my limbs to twitch and jerk.

"I killed them, but they still hurt her. They took her and they hurt her before I could get there. He touched me."

Kane snarled the sound loud enough to penetrate the fog around my brain.

"That bastard is lucky you killed him, Cassie. I wouldn't have been so merciful."

I didn't think that ripping out someone's spine was merciful, but I was in no mood to split hairs. Kane's hands continued to slide up and down my arms and I fought a shiver I blamed on being cold. Slowly, I returned to myself. My head cleared and I stepped back.

"I'm fine."

I replaced Kane's hands with my own, hugging my arms to myself. I let out a shaky breath, and fought off a blush at the incredulous look Kane shot me.

"Sorry about that, I'm fine now."

I was embarrassed about my episode. Kane looked angry now, and Mia looked scared. I felt bad for having upset her.

"Mia, I'm sorry I didn't mean to upset you, normally I'm better at handling my panic attacks, I just wasn't expecting that one is all."

"You've had something like this happen before?" Kane asked lowly.

"I used to have panic attacks all the time nothing new. I know how to handle it and I will be fine."

Now that Kane wasn't a concerned alpha wolf anymore I was annoyed at his questioning.

"Cassie, why don't we fix something to eat, I'm about to starve."

I was grateful Mia changed the subject. I didn't owe Kane an explanation and he wasn't getting one. I would have really liked to talk to Aidan about this whole thing but, oh yeah, he was currently investigating the crime scene I had left behind.

I slid into a chair and rested my forehead in my hands. Aidan was a good cop, he would figure out what happened and then he would come for me. He would know I had lied about going to see my imaginary sister. I fought back the moisture in my eyes. I liked Aidan and all of that was over now.