The Dreams

Chapter Forty

Rina still felt a bit strange around Hibiki one moment and the next she could almost believe that everything was just as it had been before. Her emotions came in waves. Her mind almost wanted to push her memories of the last few days into an unused corner of her brain so she could pretend everything was still the same. She thought her life had become confusing enough without her own mind trying to deny the facts.

Not that the facts as she knew them made anything anymore clear. Hibiki was Souma. She fell in love with someone who was not even a human being, but a kitsune playing an elaborate trick to appear human. She was Yuzuki, or rather her reincarnation. Souma had tried to bring Yuzuki back, messed something up and now Rina's soul was a botched up mess.

She was furious with him, and she felt she had every right to feel this way. Her anger did not stop her from loving him, though. That part hurt her more than the rest of it put together. She cared too much and that made everything negative she felt towards him act as a double-edged sword.

Once she had calmed down a bit she realized she had nowhere else to go. She might not be entirely comfortable where she was right now, but she needed to stay where she stood the best chance of getting help. Right now the person that understood her and her situation best of all happened to be Hibiki.

Being around him confused her and more often than not just reminded her how heartsick she was these days. She had faith one day she would be able to move past it, but their proximity slowed the healing process.

She needed to know about kitsune, and it turned out that she had one available to question when she was able to get over her other issues. He avoided telling her so many things from her former life for various reasons, but those reasons did nothing to make it any easier for Rina to forgive Hibiki. She could understand his hesitation. She did not know what might happen if she started to know things ahead of time. Now that she finally started to get her sleep back under her control she did not want to risk doing anything that might disrupt her newfound equilibrium.

Question and answer time proved to be a way for her to communicate with Hibiki without delving into the problems in their relationship. While it was not nearly as effective as having the time and space to process her thoughts, it was significantly better than stewing in her anger and trying to ignore him completely.

She sat on the chair closest to the fire and watched the flames. She waited for Hibiki to sit down as well so she could ask her latest question.

"Why are you able to fit in so well? You have so many people fooled into believing you're a human being — and you're better at fitting in than me, although I guess that might not mean much all things considered," she started rambling, but managed to reel herself back in before her mouth got too far away from her.

"Practice," he answered simply. "I've had years and years of practice."

She shook her head. "It's so unfair. I'm the human here and somehow I'm the one that can't figure out how to be normal."

He arched an eyebrow. "You think I'm normal?"

She could not stop herself from smiling. "I think you're amazing."

"Well, which is it? Are you upset because I'm better at fitting in than you or not?"

"That's not it at all," she scrambled to find an adequate way to explain herself. "I just feel like I'm always going to be the ordinary one."

"What are you talking about? There's nothing ordinary about you."

"I'm not like you," she insisted. "I'm only human. You're the one with all sorts of powers."