The Dreams

Chapter Twenty Seven

Her worries must have gotten to Hibiki more than she originally thought. He encouraged her to make an appointment as soon as possible and promised to give her a ride there and back no matter when the appointment might be. She realized then that her concerns might be a bit more serious than she had allowed herself to believe. She knew she had a tendency to worry about silly little things so she had developed a system where she tried her best to suppress her worries to the best of her ability unless she had some sort of outside proof that there might be something real to worry about. If she did not at least make some sort of effort to keep this system in place she would be stuck worrying about every little thing all day long.

Hibiki sharing her concern was the sort of validation that pretty much sent her into full-blown worry. It might have hurt more in the short term to hear him tell her that she was being ridiculous, but she could get over that. Knowing that he thought something might be going on with her that was influencing her with experiences that were not her own just made her head spin. There was no question about it now. She needed a professional to step in and fix this. Getting to the point where she could get it fixed might be difficult, though.

Penny had acted based on her gut feelings and was not bound by the same rules as an actual doctor. Now that her case had been passed on to someone with more experience, and a medical background, there seemed to be more hoops to jump through. Dr. Charlotte did not want to do anything hastily. She collected her information by just letting Rina talk, and rarely even asked questions. Her extensive notes did seem to imply that Rina's rambling was giving her the sort of information the doctor needed to eventually form a diagnosis.

Now Rina had a feeling that time was running out. She needed to pressure Dr. Charlotte to do more than passively collect information and hope that talking and getting her problems out of her own head would be enough. She needed an actual course of treatment.

Going to the doctor and just demanding results was not really her style, but at this point, she could not see any other option available to her. Waiting was only making things worse and talking was not helping her at all. She needed results before she completely lost her mind, or got any more confused about who she really was. Already she sometimes felt as though there was a part of her that was her other self. That could not be normal. She was only one person. She should only have one self, and she certainly should not be feeling an identity crisis over some person she only knew of in her dreams.

Getting the outcome she hoped for might be impossible. She had to at least keep that in the back of her mind otherwise she would end up greatly disappointed. She could fight as hard as she wanted, but if there was nothing the doctor could do then she would either have to learn to cope with the cards life had dealt her or continue searching for a solution elsewhere. This possibility did cause her confidence to waver a bit and she had to wonder if it was actually worth it to pressure Dr. Charlotte to try to do something. Having Hibiki go along with her and his constant support in her investigation into what was happening to her mind gave her the small, extra push she needed to keep herself from backing down.

She pulled all of the strength she could into fortifying her will to see this appointment through. It was not that she thought her willpower might have any effect on the outcome of things, but she needed it just to get herself to speak the words that needed to be said and hope for the best. She just needed to find the power to ask for these things and then to wait for an answer and hope for the best. She had to brace herself for having no control of the outcome.

"Will you come in with me?" she leaned over to ask him in a hushed whisper.

"Are you sure you want me there?" he whispered back, adopting the same volume she had used.