The Way of Fate (Book 1)

7. Not Such An Absurd Notion

"No. It was pretty obvious. Same clothes as yesterday. Huge hickey."

"And why does this bother you so much, Allen? It's not like he's having sex while babysitting Sam."

I shuddered at the thought, although I trusted that he would never do that. He just waited until his time off, which should be perfectly acceptable, until he shows up late because of it. Then it became unacceptable.

"It was careless of him. Why go out to find a stranger to fuck when he knew he had to be at my house in the morning?"

"And how do you know it was a stranger, Allen?" she asked with just as much intensity as my last statement, trying to make a point about something or other, probably. "What about a girlfriend? He could very well have one, who he has sex with regularly."

I scoffed without meaning to. "No. There's no boyfriend."

She looked taken aback for a second, but got over herself rather quickly. "So he told you he wasn't seeing anyone?"

I nodded, remembering our conversation last night. I had asked him about a boyfriend, only because I wanted to get to know him a bit better considering I realized I had no clue what he was like outside of babysitting Sam. He seemed a bit uneasy when the topic was brought up, but he answered anyway: no boyfriend. It wasn't a matter of the fact that he didn't believe in love, it was because he just didn't have the time to see people, or so he says.

Her mouth dropped open slightly. "Are you jealous, Allen? Are you actually jealous of this boy?"

I scoffed at the ridiculousness of the notion. "No," I said, the word coming out harsher than I meant it to. "Why would I be jealous? I have no energy or desire to go out and have sex with someone. Not with Sam at home."

"That's not what I meant and you know that, Allen," Melissa said quietly. "You're jealous that he's having sex with someone that's not you."

Now it was my turn for my jaw to drop. "What? No. I'm not... Get back to work."

I shook my head as I watched Melissa walk out of my office. She was being absolutely ridiculous. How could she possibly think that about me? The notion was absurd!

The complete absurdity of the thought was probably the reason why Melissa's accusation stayed in my head for the rest of the day. Every once and a while I would succeed in pushing the thought put of my head for a few minutes, maybe an hour at the most, if I'm lucky. But then it wold creep back in, blinding me with its intensity.

Am I jealous of Mika? Could it possibly be true?

Shaking my head, I stood up from my desk, stretching my back. I've been sitting there for far too long. The long hours have never bothered me this much before, not even when I would stay at work for over twelve hours when I refused to go home to an empty house.

My house was no longer empty. I had a son waiting for me there. A son I love with all my heart.

A son who was currently being watched by a man Melissa thinks I want to have sex with.

Letting out a deep sigh, I grabbed the picture of Sarah and I that I still had on my desk. I smiled longingly at her, remembering the day this picture was taken. It was our fourth date and I had brought her to a carnival just outside the city. It was a beautiful summer night and she had asked some woman walking by to take our picture in front of the carousel. We both were so happy that night.

The normal ache in my chest that I usually felt when thinking of her wasn't there. I wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not. I definitely still missed her, so much, but I think the idea of her never coming back was finally starting to sink in.