I Am A Monster

I Am A Monster : Chapter 58

Chapter 58

I wake up to the now-familiar feeling of a hospital bed. It's cold and cool where I am, and I savor the moment. Then everything comes crashing down on me, and I remember everything that's happened; immediately, I sit bolt upright in my bed, my eyes snapping open.

Everything. The pain. The grief. The sorrow. All of it....

For once, I don't cry. I've cried too much. I think I'm past the stage of crying now; there is a point where you're too sad even to cry, and I've finally crossed that point. All of the deaths still seem to be just behind my vision, haunting me, waiting to come out. The pain is with it, and the shock, and all of the other negative emotions. I wonder idly when the last time I smiled was. Probably months ago. I don't know.

Someone jostles the edge of the bed, and I look towards the sound, my senses on higher alert than normal, probably trying to sense a tragedy so that I can get away before it really happens.

Sabrina is sitting at the edge of the bed. Her eyes are a little softer than normal. She's standing next to a guy with a military cut. He has bright blue eyes, and the echo of a smile on his face. His hand is curled around Sabrina's.

"Sabrina?" I ask quietly.

"Bree." Her voice is one of acknowledgement and superiority.

I lean back against the pillows and let it all come out, invade my mind; the tears don't come as I thought they would. Instead I stay stock-still, waiting for Sabrina and her boyfriend to go away.

"Bree," says Sabrina patiently, "open your eyes."

I do. Her boyfriend's head is leaning into her neck now. He looks at me curiously through long, thin eyelashes.

"Who's this?" I nod towards the boy, whose eyebrows furrow. I can tell he's trying not to get angry.

"My mate, Daniel," says Sabrina proudly. "He's been a soldier for three years."

I nod mutely. Then I lean my head against the bed board, looking anywhere but at Sabrina and Daniel. My sore mind wants Mark, but Mark isn't there; he never will be. I can never have what Sabrina and Daniel do.

"I'm sorry, Bree." Her voice is quiet now. "I know that..." Her voice trails off. She closes her eyes, anguished. Daniel's hand automatically wraps around her waist, trying to reassure her.

"How long have you known Daniel?" I ask quietly.

"Two days."

"And how long have I been out?"

"Four."

"What?"

"Bree, whatever Vanessa gave you, it was strong. But it would also make you weak. You would be unconscious for a few days. She learned the spell from her father."

"Why doesn't she like her father?"

Sabrina looks me over once, her lips pursed, her eyebrows joining together in one thin line. She seems to be contemplating whether to tell me or not. Finally, she sighs.

"Bree, it's sad. You sure you want to hear it?"

"Yes." I nod vigorously.

Sabrina dives into her story, her hand stroking Daniel's hair. "Two years ago, she found her mate. Her father didn't approve of him. But it was her mate, after all, so she turned her back on her own father and stayed with him--her mate, I mean. She and her father didn't talk for six months. Then...well, one day her mate got hurt. Badly hurt. His life was in danger. She didn't have the power, the strength, or the knowledge to heal him, so she did the last thing she ever expected to do: She took him to her father.

"Her father was surprised and angry that, only then, when she needed him, would she speak to him. He didn't try as hard as he should have--probably a part of him was hoping that he would die, and his daughter would get over him. But when he died, Vanessa knew that he hadn't tried his hardest. Her own father broke her heart, the same way she broke his. They haven't spoken since, not even at her mother's funeral."

"That's...horrible," I whisper. "I can't believe..."

"I know," Sabrina says heavily. "Her sister, Danielle, told me."

"She has a sister?" I ask.

"Yeah. But Danielle is a one-of-a-kind case. Before Vanessa's mother married Jacob, he had an earlier wife--Vanessa. They had Danielle. She was an ice princess--long story. Anyway, she died shortly after childbirth. Jacob wasn't there, and Killer attacked her. Jacob married Vanessa's mother shortly afterward, a woman named Gabriella, and they had a second child a year later. Jacob named her after his first wife: Vanessa. Vanessa's seventeen now, and Danielle is nineteen. She's the new ice princess."

"But it's January," I point out. "It'll start getting warmer by March."

"Trust me, she doesn't need cold weather to activate her powers. She lives in the hills right now."

"In the hills?" I leap to my feet, realizing that, although my legs feel like jelly, I'm able to hold myself upright.

"Bree, she'll kill you!"

I freeze. "She'll...what?"

"When she was nine, she really started to think about the fact that her father didn't hesitate before marrying again. She was disgusted with him. She ran away and killed anyone in her path."

"When she was nine?" I ask. "How'd she--?"

"She was an ice princess, Bree. She made herself a sword out of dry ice and impaled her enemies. She knew her stuff."

"I'm going after her." I get out of the bed, jostling it slightly, and leaning on the bed so that I don't sway.

"Bree!" Sabrina protests. "You can't. She'll kill you. Why do you want to--"

"If she's on our side, it'll give us better chances of winning the battle," I say.

"If you die and she still doesn't come, we'll have less chances," Sabrina insists.

"I've gotta try," I say flatly.

"At least...I'll come with you."

"If she's coming, I'm coming," says Daniel, his head snapping up, his hand squeezing Sabrina's.

"We can't make this into a whole group," I say. "It's just going to be me."

"Bree, you'll kill yourself!" says Daniel.

"Stay," Sabrina pleads, leaning her head into Daniel's arm; he's four inches taller than she is.

"I can't," I say, my voice slightly quieter than normal.

"Bree--"

Sabrina tries to reach for my shoulder, and for a second her warm hand closes around it, and then I slide out of her grip and disappear out of the doorway, morphing before the door even closes.

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