What True Heartbreak Feels Like

"Mr. Perfect" Was Mine

My head was racing as I answered him excitedly,
"Yes! I mean... I uh... Yeah sure whatever." I tried to hide how happy I was and we both got on the bus, this week was beginning to be great. We texted more than usual, we were both happy and something slipped my mouth, I told him I loved him. "Bryan I love you *pink heart*" Oh my, did I really just tell him I loved him? Like not 'ily' I actually said the words? Before I could decide if I was dreaming or not because again, this all seemed way too good to ever be true, I heard his ringtone. *BUZZ BUZZ* I walked over to my phone and grabbed at as I was brushing my hair since I had just hopped out of the shower. "I love you too *pink heart*" Well at least he didn't reject me but I don't think he loves me yet I began to think to myself. I knew I was falling my love, he was all I could think about. I imagined him in every situation being with me. When I was with him I felt butterflies in my stomach oh so bad. I couldn't control it, I was falling so deep so fast, Bryan was going to be my first love and I wanted him to be the one I married. If only I knew and could've gotten away from his poison. I simply couldn't get enough of him, I embraced his love in every way, we talked constantly and there was absolutely no secrets between us. We facetimed a lot, mainly on weekends but some after school. As the rest of the week went by I got the best text messages a girl could ever dream of, "Good Morning babe, I love you *red heart* I can't wait to see you today" We had evolved to using red hearts because we called what we had being in love, and we began using pet names like 'babe' and 'baby'. Our love only grew stronger and stronger. In person on Friday we had a pretty important conversation,
"Bryan..." I looked up at his beautiful green eyes.
"Yes what is it?" He looked back at me like he always did when we were talking, I could read through his eyes and tell he was listening.
"I don't want to sleep alone on Saturday but I don't want to force you to facetime me all night again... but will you please?" I begged him since none of our fts lasted all night anymore, and I had been having trouble sleeping a lot.
"of course I will, I'll make something work. I promise." Promising was our 'thing' we honored promises as much as each other and we never ever broke a promise, for breaking one would be like breaking our entire trust system.
"Thank you! I love you" I looked down being a little shy about saying 'I love you' in person and he picked my chin up and looked at me and said,
"I love you too." Now that conversation probably doesn't seem too important to you guys, but it was to me for this was the first time we learned to say 'I love you' to each other in person. We were truly going to be each other's first love and I still to this day wish it could've stayed that way. The rest of Friday and Saturday during the day were amazing, we were lovey beyond my imagination. There was many things happening, since he was shy I was so happy with him. He was beginning to say 'I love you' first and he was showing more of himself to me, which only caused me to fall deeper. Saturday night came and it was time for me to facetime him, so I called around the time we always did which was 11pm or later, things went as usual except for one thing, when I was trying to sleep I was struggling. I'm not sure how he knew, whether he could hear me flipping in my bed to try to find a comfortable position, or whether he just got a sense. He called my name and told me to lay down in one place, I did as I was told and let him talk to me without answering. Bryan went through a list of things he loved about me, he didn't stop until I was asleep and it was not like he has to repeat himself or hesitate, he was smooth as if he really thought about all of this stuff and actually loved me. I fell asleep in the best way I ever have in my entire life, for that was the only day in my life I had fallen asleep with a smile on my face. I really did love Bryan now, I was absolutely screwed too.