We Give Our Hearts to Fate

Chapter 2: Marina

Marching out of the auditions room, I can't exactly say I feel confident. I haven't felt confident in... a long time. Either way, I'm well aware that I won't be getting any lead roles. My body is too awkward and childlike for me to land any important parts. Also, I'm mindful of the fact that it's been quite some time since I was in the prime of my dancing career. Sure, I've gotten back into shape over the past few months, but I don't know if I'm quite back to the level I was at four years ago.

Four years ago....

I guess it's actually ridiculously hilarious. I'm either extremely lucky or extremely unfortunate. I ran away from dancing to try to forget the selfish child that I used to be. To be honest, there were probably more problems that I was hiding from, but I'm not willing to think of those. Then, years later, I decide to follow the dreams of a cold, tired, underweight little girl from St. Petersburg. I thought, maybe if I could find the same awe in dance that I found all of those years ago I could.... Anyway, right when I managed to shove aside the grotesque person that lives inside me, I am reminded of the day that ugly being came to be.

"I would love to dance with you sometime!" She said... as if she actually cared.

I know she didn't mean it. How could anyone actually say that line to me with any hint of sincerity? Yet...somehow she still manages to disarm me. For some reason, I can't help but believe her when she says dumb things like that.

I'm so lost in my thoughts that I almost run into the person who has stopped in front of me. I look up and see a man with dark hair and warm eyes smiling down at me. He's wearing a white t-shirt and black tights, obviously just coming out of an audition. I immediately recognize him as Milo Lehmann. He used to be one of the top danseurs in the United States until an ankle injury forced him to stop competing. He's been a part of the Reginald American Dance Theatre for a few years, but he's always casted as part of the ensemble. I... suppose we were acquaintances when I was young. When I still competed in pre-professional competitions, he came to personally choreograph my dance routines. We were pretty close, but I lost contact with him when I graduated from the Vaganova Academy of Russian Ballet.

I also heard that he got married to someone named Dakota Maclain, though I didn't think they lived in New York. I guess... I really have been away from the world of dance for far too long. I guess... it really was time for me to come back.

Even though he may remember me, I doubt Milo is happy with me for ignoring him for so long. So, I greet him without a hint of friendliness, "It's nice to see you again, Mr. Lehmann." He smiles earthily and answers with a small chuckle, "Come on, Marina. It's just me." At those words, I can feel my shoulders relax. In the back of my mind, I remember a certain practice when I was sixteen years old. I cried the whole time and Milo just told me that I could tell him anything and he wouldn't tell a soul. Well... he certainly knows more secrets of mine than I'm comfortable with.

"Just wait here when you're done getting dressed," Milo continues, "We can go get some lunch and catch up." Though I fear what personal questions he'll undoubtedly ask me, I nod in affirmation and walk to the changing room. There, I change back into the clothes I was wearing before: Jean capris, a white short-sleeved high-necked blouse, and simple black flats. I usually attempt to dress modestly, so the clothes that Milo likes to wear... aren't exactly my style.

When I see him outside of the changing room, I can't resist the corners of my mouth rising in amusement and nostalgia. Today, he's decided on wearing black skinny jeans, a gold t-shirt under a bright green blazer, and black dress shoes. Milo just laughs and teases, "Come on, don't look at me like that! You know I'm fashionable." I just roll my eyes and say, "Whatever you say, Milo."

Once we find a decent place for lunch, Milo switches to speaking Russian, most likely to eliminate the risk of any eavesdroppers, which I appreciate. He asks, "What have you been up to?" Knowing he was going to ask this, I just shrug, unwilling to give a definitive answer. After a few awkward moments, Milo asks a different question, "How long have you been in America without telling me?" I answer in a quiet voice, "About a year."

"You can't keep pushing everyone away," Milo scolds, "You know that, don't you?" I just shrug again. At that, Milo just sighs, giving up for now. Instead, he shifts the conversation to something even worse, "So, I hear Celeste was at auditions too." At that, I snap my head up and complain, "I know. It's awful. I thought I got rid of her years ago." Milo lets out a laugh and says, "She's not actually that bad. She's actually a sweet girl. I think you guys could really get along if you just stopped being so crabby." Angered, I protest, "I'm not crabby!" Milo laughs a great deal longer than he has to at me.

* * *

A week or so later, Milo calls to tell me that the audition results should be posted. He wants me to just check online, but I ask if we can go to the opera house that the Reginald American Dance Theatre calls home. So, Milo and I get together to check the results that are posted on the front doors of the opera house.

Taking a deep breath, I stand in front of the postings. At the top of the list, I see: "Sugar Plum Fairy- Celeste Perrot." Well... it's not like I was really expecting anything different. Celeste has always been the best. It's not like anything would change.

Ridding my thoughts of Celeste, I read the second name on the list: "Nutcracker- Milo Lehmann." Shocked, I turn my head quickly to see Milo staring at the postings with awe. I shout out, "You did it, Milo!" He turns to look at me, smiling widely. Overjoyed, I throw my arms around him. Milo hasn't been able to get a part like this in over six years. And finally... finally he's recovered and he's trained hard enough to do what he loves to do. This shows me how much he's grown since he was my choreographer. I remember how painful it was for him just to land on his bad ankle during a leap. Now, he can dance like the amazing danseur I know he is.

Milo puts his hands on my shoulders and lightly pushes me away, telling me, "Look at the next name." Turning back to the results, I look at the name below Milo's: "Clara- Marina Sokolov." For a second, all I can do is stare at the piece of paper in front of me. Then, Milo bursts out laughing beside me, teasing, "Oh my God, they really do think you're a kid!" I give him a big shove and shout, "Oh shut up! Just because I'm tiny, it doesn't mean I can't dance well!"

Getting his laughs under control, Milo explains, "They probably just didn't want to give you an ensemble roll and thought, hey, she's short enough to be a kid. And that was the end of it." At my unamused pout, he continues, "Come on, they liked you and wanted you to play a bigger part than ensemble. That's it. Don't be so sour about it." I just shrug, unwilling to offer my opinion.

"Well," I begin, "I say that your success deserves to be celebrated with a few drinks." Milo just smiles and proposes, "I know this great place just down the street from my apartment. We should meet up there tonight. I'll give you the address." I smile and agree, "That sounds great. You bring your spouse and I'll just... bring myself." Milo just laughs and gives me one last hug as a goodbye.

Unfortunately for me, Fate decided that now is obviously the right time to start messing with my life again.

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A/N:

So, I still don't really know where I'm going with this, but I'm getting somewhere! For the title, I'm thinking something about fate, because Marina's good/bad luck is kinda gonna be a motif. I don't know. Let me know what you think. Also, just to clear up any confusion there might be now or in the next chapter, Dakota Maclain (now Dakota Lehmann) is Milo's spouse and they are agender and go by they/them. So, Milo is pansexual. I just felt like adding diversity.

Also, I'm sorry this chapter was boring. There will be actual romance in the next one (though I would brace yourself because I've never written romance before).