PAIN | Victuuri

Chapter 3

Chapter 3
"Stupid! Get out of the damn bed! Do you think he would've wanted this for you!" Yurio yelled at Yuuri, trying not to let his voice crack.
"What do you care?" Yuuri retorts, his voice slightly muffled by the pillow. That broke him. The tears started flowing down Yurio's cheeks.
"BECAUSE I DONT WANT TO GO TO ANOTHER FUNERAL FOR SOMEONE I CARE ABOUT!"
Yuuri stiffened upon hearing that. He didn't respond. Yurio continued.
"I just don't want to have to see you in a casket cause you were to selfish to see that people still care about you . Just because Victor is dead doesn't give you the right to not take care of yourself. You stopped eating, you don't move out of that fucking bed. Do you think this is any easier for me?! Sure you might have been his fiancé but that doesn't give you an excuse to have everyone worried about you."
"Why do you care?"
"BECAUSE I MISS HIM TOO AND JUST BECAUSE YOU MIGHT HAVE BEEN ENGAGED DOESNT MEAN THAT OTHER PEOPLE ARENT GRIEVING TOO! If I didn't care I wouldn't have flown all the way out here from St. Petersburg. I just dont want to see you dead." The last part was quieter. After not getting a response Yurio turned and walked out, trying to hold back the tears.
"Fine. Do what you want. If you want to kill yourself go ahead. But I'm not going to your pity party of a funeral." He muttered to himself.

Yuuri's condition was worsening. He hadn't eaten anything substantial for over a month, and what he had eaten was so little in amount that it barely counted. H hadn't moved from his bed in even longer. His last reminder of Victor was gone, in a pet cemetery somewhere. He was sick and tired of everyone's pity. They didn't care. They were all over his death. How could they be over it? How could they be fine when everyday Yuuri felt like his lungs were full of rocks and his heart was made of lead? How could they go about their lives when Yuuri didn't even want to live. He would've ended it already but he never had any chance to, what with Yurio constantly nagging him.

It was about six weeks after Makkachin had died. He was so done, done with having to live without Victor, done with everyone's pity. He was weak and he didn't want to do this anymore and he just wanted to see him again. He hated himself for it, but sometimes he wished it was that bratty Russian kid instead. And he hated himself. Because if Victor dying had hurt him then Yurio dying would hurt somebody else just as much and no one can die without it hurting someone. But Yuuri didn't care. He couldn't stand to be alive anymore. If Victor was dead then he should be too. Everyone was asleep. So he pushed himself out of the bed and made his way to the bathroom and to the medicine cabinet. Locked. Of course it was. No one would leave a medicine cabinet unlocked with someone in his condition in the house. He walked down stairs to look for the key. He found it. He made his way back upstairs and unlocked the medicine cabinet before grabbing a bottle of something. He didn't pay attention to what it said in the label. But it was pretty full and that was all that mattered to him. He relocked the cabinet and went downstairs. I should write a note. He thought. So he made looked for a piece of paper and a pencil and started writing.
I'm sorry. I can't do this anymore. I can't keep living like this. I know that there are people that care about me and that will be hurt by this but I can't do it anymore. I can't live without him. I tried but I can't. He is my world and he's gone and i can't do this anymore. I have to be with him. We were born to be together. We were born to make history. I'm sorry. I love you all. Goodbye.
He put the pen down and grabbed a water bottle and filled it up, and then started on his way to the cemetery.

He sat down against Victor's gravestone and watched the sun come up.
"I guess this is it huh? We can finally be together again" Yuuri said, before swallowing the whole bottle of pills and leaning back against the headstone, the corner of his lips turned upwards into a smile. It was the first time he smiled since that day.