Always and Forever - A Harry Potter Fanfiction

Chapter Eight

Severus was my best friend. My best friend since we were ten years old. He had been there for me at my very worst and at my very best. I had lost contact with him but had never forgotten him, never. Not even when I was cuddled on the sofa with James' arms around me and Harry asleep in his cot. I never forgot him. I just sometimes got distracted of the memory of him due to my busy lifestyle of being hunted down by the Dark Lord. He was my best friend. I never imagined him as anything more. Never. Of course, I must have been blind because everyone else said that Sev clearly cared for me a bit more than he should and I saw that but I thought we had been brother and sister. Brothers and sisters should NOT feel like this about each other. The idea of holding Severus' hand felt like home to me and having his arms around me made me feel comforted and protected. The thought of the amount of times Severus had leaped in front of me and whatever was coming was astonishing. He even seemed willing to raise his worst enemy's child because he cared... And the very idea of kissing... Was enough to make my heart stop beating altogether. In a blunt sense of it... I was screwed. This had been a bad idea. What would James have said? He would have killed me! But then it made me realise that James was dead, never coming back and just maybe... I should take love now while I still could. It was not because I felt like I needed to be loved. If that was the case, I would be spending my time with all of my friends. I felt loved enough with them. It wasn't the case that I wanted a distraction from James' death and Harry's absence because even now, they were on my mind and I knew that Severus knew that. I couldn't be distracted from something like that. I loved them too much.

So what was it? Severus made me whole. He made me feel like I had no missing parts and this was something that even Moony couldn't do. But I couldn't feel right. Was it alright to love Sev when my heart partially wished I was dead so I could join James? Was that even normal? Maybe I had gone insane...

As I was thinking all of this, Severus had walked back in and Albus was following. He collapsed into a chair and Severus waved his wand to summon oak matured mead, a carton of orange juice and wine glasses.

"What's the matter, Albus?" I asked, twirling my hair around my finger over and over again. The bottle of mead poured itself into two of the wine glasses. In the third, orange juice was poured. The carton and mead then floated off back into the kitchen and all three of us took the glass that went to us. I sipped my orange juice as I surveyed Albus. He was pale and looked quite clammy and ill. He downed the glass of mead and waved his wand when a bottle of whisky appeared out of thin air which automatically filled his empty glass. He downed this one too before answering.

"Igor told us the names of several who had been Death Eaters." He said, simply.

"Who?" I gasped.

"Only one name fully stood out." Albus downed another glass.

"Who?" Sev asked again.

"Barty Crouch Junior."

"No!" I gasped.

"Guilty of torturing Alice and Frank Longbottom." I nearly collapsed and grabbed the arm of the sofa to keep me upright. Severus placed his arm around my waist and supported me to the sofa cushions where he sat me down. I clutched my wine glass tight.

"He couldn't! Barty was never a Death Eater..." Severus was pacing the floor.

"Well he never denied it but confirmed it straight away saying he would be rewarded and would be welcomed 'like a hero' amongst the ones already there."

"The son of a Ministry official..." I murmured to myself.

"Barty Crouch Senior is stepping down." I shook my head, dazed.

"He was on his way to becoming minister! This is insanity..."

"Will there be another trial?" Severus asked.