“I'm all out of faith this is how I feel I'm cold and I am shamed Lying naked on the floor Illusion never changed Into something real I'm wide awake And I can see The perfect sky is torn You're a little late I'm already torn.” I replayed in my head. HE left me for a fat chick. How dare him. This is totally bogus! My friends said not to date him but whatever that’s the past. I miss him. I miss him more than the daises in the field miss rain. I still remember when we first met. Almost 4 years, 2 months, and 1 week ago. I was just 13. I’ve seen him around school all the time. I thought he was cute and all. We never talked since he was the “player”. He was the wild, boisterous, and just out there. I mean I’m like that to but I wasn’t as obnoxious as he is. Back to the point. Like most 8th grade dances or in this case the 8th grade “prom” there is always the girl that stands In the corner dressed up or so and full of secret charisma. That girl was me. It was 10:30 ish and the “prom” ended at midnight. My nerves started to act in an anguish matter. I slid against the wall like a snow boarder sliding down a mountain. Everyone there was hostile. Pushing me to get out of the way just with one push. I was a little shocked they weren’t interrogated about that seeing my school has a no violence policy, but no one really follows them. So it was just me sitting on the floor against the ice burg freezing wall with my knees against my chest. That’s when he came up to me. “You want to dance.” He asked me in one of those gentle sweet melodious voices. To not see one of his sinister attractive grins was a first. I stared at him if he was an angel sent from above which weird to think that since he’s him. Mr. Bad boy. At this point I didn’t care so I went with him. I must say he was gentler then I’d think a player like him would go. That’s the boy I fell for, but now has gone, he’s back to his heart breaking ways. I was left dilapidated with the heart he broke thumping just for him on the floor.
Shes the best thing that ever happened in my life, but I had to leave her. I loved her as much as she loved me. Whenever I see her walking the halls alone it pains me too see it. Just imagine a little bunny out in the cold artic snow. Shes gone though. I gotta keep my rep now that I left her. After 2 painful days without her I asked out this fat chick. I don’t know why. I just did, you gotta problem with it? Maybe after a week with the fat chick I dumped her, so now I taste what it’s like to not have any girl to hold. Well I never held anyone but my firefly. Yeah yeah yeah. I called her firefly. Every lifeless night that a went through when we dated she always lit up the night. That ecstatic soul that lived inside her always lit up my world even when we never spoke before I asked her to dance in 8th grade. I left her though and I regret it. The worst memory in my life so far. It was only a month, 2 hours and 3 minutes from today. We were both playing hero at the local charity center. We both represented our school as the co philanthropist. I was a bit ambiguous but not as she was. It so adorable when shes befuddled. For all those long hours I sat there with her I didn’t pay attention to what the speaker was saying. After 3 ½ years I was with her. 3 ½ years too long for a player to stay to one girl. I wished I didn’t think like that. “We need to talk.” I whispered in her ear. She nodded slowly and we went outside in the hall stairs. “What’s wrong babe?” she wondered with those beautiful, warn, dark yet calmly brindle eyes of hers. “We’re over.” I claimed as coldly as I ever sounded. I didn’t hear what she said with her mumbling. All I remember was I got a scar on my cheek from when she slapped me in tears then ran away. The stupidest mistake I did ever. My plans aren’t over yet though. Next year in our senior year I’m going to try to be her friend. I’ll get as close as I can no matter what it takes. At our graduation I’m going to let it all out right then and there. I hope she says yes. I can already picture it. Me singing to her but she’ll get what I’m asking. “Now that the weight has lifted love has surely shifted my way marry me today and every day marry me if I ever get the nerve to say hello in this café say you will Mm-hmm say you will Mm-hmm.”
