If I'd stayed, if you'd tried

PJ Liguori is the kind of person that Dan would usually admire from afar but not dare strike up a conversation with. He's funny, he's kind, he's creative and most of all, he's outgoing. That's the last word Dan would ever describe himself with. He prefers solitude and spending his evenings watching movies or playing video games instead of socializing with others. PJ is the kind of person that would intimidate Dan because he seems so perfect.

(Dan very well knows that PJ is less than perfect though.)

It's just his luck that the curly-haired boy is his roommate for his first semester at university. He's whiny and stays up too late working on his drawings or some of the other weird projects that he has going on but won't tell Dan about. Dan doesn't mind not knowing about them all that much, because one time he accidentally stumbled over one of PJ's stop-motion videos including tentacles and scantily-clad women. He's never asked about any of PJ's projects ever since. PJ is one of those people that leave their stuff all over the place instead of putting them away, which would take mere seconds. When Dan first moved in four months ago, he could handle the fact that PJ's side of the dorm room with simple beds and tables and two closets that were definitely too small to fit all of Dan's stuff in them had looked like a war zone. But nowadays their entire room is a mess, and sometimes Dan wants to pick up one of PJ's worn socks that are just all over the floor and stuff it into his mouth. He doesn't dare touch them though. Who knows what kind of tiny creatures already nest in there.

So PJ has his faults. He's not the entirely perfect guy that Dan would have made him out to be had he not had the pleasure of rooming with him and his stinky feet. He's still a person that Dan's happy to have found in his life, the first friend he's made at university, the one that actually helped him build up somewhat of a social life.

He very much wants to smack him though when PJ decides that it's a fun idea to hang a mistletoe over the entrance to their dorm room and insists on kissing everyone on the cheek that's standing under it.

Heaving a sigh as he notices that the door is locked and that he's again forgotten his keys, Dan knocks on the door to his dorm room and hopes that PJ's home. He shifts the package in his arms because it's heavy. Shortly after that he hears noises from the inside, PJ cursing, and then he takes a step back as the door opens.

"I'm not standing under the mistletoe," he says as a way of greeting and waits for PJ to step back to let him inside the room. Once the door is closed behind them, PJ smacks a wet kiss on his left cheek anyway, because he's terribly affectionate and pissed that Dan always manages to avoid them standing under the mistletoe together. If he didn't know better, Dan would think that PJ was trying to flirt with him. But Dan knows better. PJ's just that kind of person.

"You've got a package," PJ exclaims excitedly as he plops down on his bed and grabs for his Nintendo again.

"You've got working eyes," Dan retorts. "Good for you, congrats."

"What's in it?"

"Your mum."

Dan ducks the moments the words are out and doesn't straighten himself again until he hears the soft thumping sound of a pillow falling to the floor. He sticks his tongue out at PJ in victory. PJ likes throwing soft things at Dan whenever he says something stupid. He's just that kind of person.

Only then does Dan put the package on his cluttered desk (half of that stuff belongs to PJ) and takes a pair of scissors to open it up.

"My mum said she'd send me some Christmas decorations from home," he explains as he unpacks a little Christmas tree and snowman figure. His heart seizes, however, when he grabs for a Christmas ornament shaped like a blue heart with the words 'I love you' written on it in white. He's immediately reminded of the evening he got it - the bustle of people on the Christmas market, the cold slicing into his cheeks, the smell of roasted almonds in the air. Phil's hand holding his tightly and not letting go. The laughter they've shared under the twinkling lights. Although they had been surrounded by dozens of people, in that moment it had felt like they were the only ones in the world.