Hide or Fight

Chapter 18 - Official, Baby.

Soda's POV

When I woke up I had to blink a few times. My eyes were dry and burned due to the sudden light invasion. I quickly scanned my surroundings and realized I was still in the hospital's waiting room with Dally across from me. Two-Bit and Darry had left the day before in favor for actual beds. As I sat up and my back ached, I wished I had gone with them.

Dally and I made eye contact and his lips pulled into a small, tired smile. "Morning, Sleepyhead."

I had to look to the floor when my eyes began to water. I missed him, but I was still mad for what he said. What he said hurt; I was hurt. "What time is it?"

He quickly glanced down to his old, stolen watch before looking back to me. "It's half past eight o'clock."

My brows furrowed. "I slept that long?"

"You needed it. I know you've been having trouble sleeping."

That's because I haven't been sleeping with you. "You didn't sleep, did you?"

"I couldn't," he admitted.

I looked to my feet again, sudden guilt coursing through me. I knew he couldn't sleep because of me. That's why I had trouble sleeping. But why should I feel guilty for what he did? "Where's Pony?"

"He's with Johnny. Do you want to go see them?"

My fingers wrung together as I nodded my head, but I didn't stand until a strong, calloused hand came into view. My head snapped up so we could make eye contact and we held it for a few moments until all of the heavy emotions invading my chest made me drop my gaze. Tentatively, I lifted my hand and put it into his before standing up. I didn't look up as he led me to Johnny's room.

"You ready?" he asked softly as we stood in front of a white door.

I looked up at him and nodded, my heart beating quickly. Why was I so nervous?

He quietly pushed the door open and we peeked inside the room. Johnny, of course, was lying in the bed in his hospital gown, his face beaten. However, though hurt, he had one of the biggest smiles I had ever seen on his face as he listened to Ponyboy who was sitting next to him on the small bed. Pony had his arms wrapped around his boyfriend and Johnny was resting his head on Pony's abs.

As Dally led me further into the room, Pony finished the story he was telling Johnny before looking up to me. He smiled lightly and I returned it.

"Hey, Sodapop," he greeted softly, running his fingers through Johnny's hair.

I waited for a minute, not sure of myself. I was mad at him for not telling me about him and Johnny, but I didn't want to be. I could tell how happy he was. I could tell how happy they both were. Yet I felt betrayed. Pony and I had always told each other everything, we even shared the same bed.

"Hey, I'm going to run down to the cafeteria," Pony said as he carefully got out of bed. "Anyone want to come?"

"I will," Dally said, dropping my hand. I had forgotten he was still holding it.

Once the door closed, there was an awkward silence in the air. I hadn't really thought of my feelings towards Johnny. For some reason I was only angry at Pony and Dally, but Johnny was just as much a part of keeping the secret as they were.

"You know they didn't mean to hurt you, right?"

I looked towards the ground, not wanting to hear what I knew was going to come out of his mouth. The rustling of bed sheets let me know he was sitting up.

"We weren't trying to hide our relationship, we just got caught up, you know?"

I felt my jaw tighten. I didn't want to have this conversation.