Holding her Hand

Holding her hand

                    By: Nicole Wilson

               Requested By: Nolan Kelly

Two small notes:
* Wednesday, September 1, 2016
* [pantomantic]
  A person romantically interested in others regardless of gender.

    Note one.
That is the date I truly believe I came out to myself. Sitting on top of the mind bender at the Oklahoma state fair. The smell of fried butter on a stick and Turkey legs in the air and a thought popped into my head " I think I may be interested in not only boys but everybody, hmm". That is the moment I also realized that my entire family is Christian,....VERY Christian and I became terrified. They may not accept me they may disown me and kick me out. That was mortifying.

    Note two
On a lighter note later that night I was googling definitions for stuff and I googled pantomantic I'd heard the term but never known what it meant in till then so I figured I'd learn. The definition popped up and I thought " Well that pretty much describes my feelings" and my panromanticness was born. 

    The next couple of days were a blur of confusion, terror, doubt and self-loathing up until Friday night.

Two more small notes
*Friday September 23, 2016
*Nolan

Note one
That is the date I came out to my best gay friend Nolan. I wasn't sure how he would react especially since he is always telling me I would be a great lesbian. Seriously all the fricking time. I also came out to a couple other people that night accidentally (thanks a lot Nolan) including:
Chloe
Jaden Brown
And Sierra
Even though this was against my will (once again thank you Nolan) I felt much better about it afterwards, as long as they stay quiet...

Note two
NOLAN ahhh yes Nolan, my best guy friend and he is VERY gay so that makes him amazing. His favorite color is green and he loves Shakira and Melanie Martinez plus every show ever about drag queens and drama. But we love h anyway quirks and all. To be honest I had the biggest crush on him in the 7th grade, until I figured out he was gay of course.

Okay I'm sorry but these are the last two notes before the actual story starts.
* Julian Elizabeth Taylor
* Thalia Violet Grace

Note one
Julian Elizabeth Taylor aka this amazing  person I have been talking about and the great, the fabulous, Thalia Violet Grace! (Aka the girl I have a crush on) She is very emo yet very caring and just didn't tell people. Plus she has this beautiful pinkish reddish hair it's great!

  Anyway, so this book is how I'm planning on coming out to my family and close friends so if your reading this mom...

    Hi Mom! I love you, just be a use I like every gender doesn't mean I don't love Jesus, I'm still a Christian. There is a bible verse that says "thou shall not judge for if you do you will surely be Dunedin hell forever, the only one that may judge if the father and the father only." Or something along those lines moral is "Love not Judge!" I love you and I hope you still love me after I've said this, if not well I'm very sorry. If my plan follows through then you should find this under your pillow with a note stating "Read Me" right after I've left for college whenever that shall be.
                       Love,
                             Juliana

   Anyway, now that introductions are out of the way lets start the story. BTW I don't know if this story will be any good or not so feel free to stop reading if it gets boring but oh well here it goes....