I Give You My All {n.h.}

Epilogue

I look down and see Mallory curled into Theo's side. Theo tightens an arm around her and kisses her forehead. I smile at the interaction and urn my head for a moment, only to allow my eyes to fall on a picture of Brooke, Theo, Mallory, Jensen, and I from just a few weeks before she died. She looked so happy, so healthy. That bright smile and those radiant eyes. 

"I miss her, dad. I miss mom, a lot." I look away from the picture and am met with Theo's bright eyes. He shakes his head and laughs bitterly. "I-I don't know why I'm crying." He begins to angrily wipe his tears away, but they don't stop. I quickly grab his hand from his face and he squeezes mine as tightly as he can. He's shaking.

"I can't stop thinking about her. Every time I close my eyes, she's all I see. Every time they're open, I see her in Mallory. Look at her, dad. She's a spitting image." I quickly agree, glancing down at the eight year old child.

"She died shortly after Mal was born. Dad, it was eight years ago. A-and I have been a mess today. I couldn't eat or drink. I feel like I'm going to throw up. This year has definitely been the absolute worst. Most years it's been sad, but this year just hurts." I nod, knowing exactly what he means. 

"And I've tried not to show my sadness around Madeline because I always feel bad when it's this time of year. Like, I feel like it upsets her when we are upset because of mom. I don't want--"

"Theo, that is not the case at all. Madeline knows and understands where we are coming from. She gets it better than anyone I've ever met. Her husband also died. She has her husband's heart. She gets it, Theo. You're not going to upset her."

"Promise?" I smile at my sixteen year old son and smile.

"I promise you." He sighs and relaxes a little. We sit in silence for a little while until his  voice breaks my thoughts.

"Dad?" I look up and he squeezes my hand.

"Please don't think I'm crazy when I say this?" I nod, allowing him to go on and he sighs a heavy sigh.

"Okay. Do you ever just--I don't know. Do you ever just feel her presence--mom's?" He looks at me nervously and when I smile, he smiles too.

"All of the time." I look up for a moment and nearly choke on the air that feels like it's been ripped from my throat, when I see her figure standing over my two children. She smiles at me and I feel my heart begin to beat a million miles a minute. She moves her head in a 'follow me' kind of way before disappearing through the wall, out into the cooler night. I swallow and glance at Theo.

"Good, because I'm pretty sure she's always here. I don't know how, but she is. Almost like a guardian angel." I nod and smile at him.

"You know, dinner is almost ready. You should try to eat." He nods for a moment then furrows his brows. "Hey dad?" I glance at him as I begin to stand.

"Could we go back home soon? Like, back to London? I want to visit mom. And I want to see everyone like Uncle Harry, Aunt Sarah, their baby, and Amy. Oh and Uncle Liam, Arralyne, and their daughter--Brookelyne. Oh and especially Grandpa Andrew and Grandma Jennifer. And can we please eat at Norma's? I miss their lovebird cake." I shoot him a very large grin. 

"I've been planning a trip back, for quite some time. Don't tell Mal, deal?" He shakes his head and grins right back. I walk back toward my sixteen year old son and lean down to kiss the top of his head, then do the same to Mallory.

"Oh and dad?"

"Yes?"

"Can I finally meet Seth Collins, Lillie and Austin, and Chase?" I stop in my tracks when I hear those names. "I just want to really feel her presence and I feel like that'd be the best way. I-I understand if you don't want to. It might be too hard, it's just a thought." I slowly nod and his brows raise.