Writing Letters [completed // editing]

| letter thirty six april 1 2006 |

"Beginnings are usually scary and endings are usually sad, but it's everything in between that makes it all worthwhile." 

               ~unknown tumblr user 

Dear Angel, 

So this is it, huh? Honestly, I never thought that it'd come to this. In my mind, I'm still that weak person who had to get drunk to wipe away the pain and wished that she was strong enough to kill herself. But I'm different now, Angel; you've made me a different, and better, person. And I've only repaid you by pushing you away. 

But maybe it's for the best. Maybe, some day we can meet again, and our love can flourish once more. But even though you're gone and we aren't together anymore, I still know that you have given me something that no one else can even come close to giving. You opened my eyes, you showed me there was more to life, and most important of all, you showed me that I could be loved and that I could love someone else. 

Over everything that we've gone through, Angel, I don't know how to repay you. 

But then I thought of something; something that will lift this weight off my chest. 

I'm sorry, Angel. Sorry that I'm a bitch, sorry that I was a broken little brat, sorry that I couldn't understand. And that you could. 

I'm sorry. 

As always, 

Ash

~

and that's a wrap, folks. 

this has been an amazing journey, and i can't thank any of you enough for actually reading this really crappy story. 

ash and angel's story is over, and i'm happy with the way i ended it. ash is a better person. the preface can come after this, i guess. so, until the acknowledgements, goodbye. 

xx