This Is Me

Mystery Song

Violet's pov

I walked through the sunny courtyard by my highschool, my black clothes standing out like the full moon at night. It's funny how people say to just be yourself and people will like you. It's a complete lie in my opinion. I mean, I like black, but people look at me like I'm the walking dead.
I was originally happy but that was when I was little...as soon as I grew up reality hit me and everyone I knew started to see me as an outcast. I guess that's just how society works.

I heard someone walk up behind me and before I could react, I was being pushed into the mud. I was used to this. It had become almost like a daily routine in my life. I sat up in the mud hoping the beating would be short today. The bully was a boy I used to be friends with when I was in sixth grade. He shoved me back down in the mud and started to kick my stomach. I coughed and tried to sit up only to get slapped in the face. He kicked me one more time before laughing and walking away with his friends. I laid there with tears now streaming down my face. I shouldnt be crying told myself while trying to sit up.

Once I finally got myself up and out of the mud I realized my dad would hate this. He's not very nice to me and when he sees me come home covered in mud it makes him even more mad. He drinks alot so I guess that could be why he's always acting so strangely. I decided I would make a quick stop at the secret creek.

I walked down the abandoned road and studied all the trees and plants. Every different plant had its own beauty. I looked at the small waterfalls flowing down the shiny gray rocks. I stood still and listened to all the the birds singing and the water tumbling down the hill in a calm steady motion. I could feel the sun shining behind me and I smiled. It was all the little things like these that made me appreciate that I could be in this world. I looked down the road and realized that there was singing coming from somewhere. I started walking as quiet as I could. As I got closer to the unknown creek the singing got louder. I kneeled behind a boulder and looked out at the water.

I didn't see anyone so I stepped out from behind the rock. The singing was loud and clear and I'de never heard anything so beautiful in my whole life.

I suddenly realized I had been out here for a long time. I decided to just try to change my clothes before my dad saw me because he would have an even bigger fit if I came home too late. I turned and ran back down the old road.

●○●○●○●○●○●○TIME SKIP!!!!●○●○●○●○●○●○

I had climbed through my window and changed into something else hoping he wouldn't realize that I was wearing something else this morning. I climbed back out my window and walked over to the front door. I opened it and looked inside. My dad was passed out on the couch surrounded by several beer bottles. I sighed and hurried back to my room. I took off the sweater I had just put on and collapsed on my bed. I looked over at my wrist and noticed my deep cuts had turned to scars. I looked up at the ceiling no and sighed.

I got up and walked to the shelf on my wall and took down the jewelry box my mother had given me before she died. I opened it and pulled out my knife and a bottle of pills. I felt the tears well up in my eyes as I remembered my mother's death.

Flashback

I jolted up in my bed, ready for my first day of fifth grade. I jumped out of bed and walked down the hall to my bathroom. After I had gotten dressed, I skipped down to the breakfast table where my dad was reading the newspaper. I snuck up behind him and suprised him with a hug. "Hey pumpin!" "Goodmorning daddy!" I exclaimed. He fed me yogurt and graham crackers for breakfast and then handed me my backpack. I excitedly took it from his hands and bounced out the door shouting my goodbyes to mom. My dad grabbed my hand and when we got to the sidewalk I looked back at our big house. It was huge, and it was definitely beautiful. I turned back to the direction of the school and me and my dad skipped together the rest of the way.

After school I walked outside. I didn't see my dad waiting for me like usual so I waited. I had waited about ten minutes and I had started to get a terrible feeling in my stomach. I followed it to my house. There were sirens in the background. I opened my front door and stared forward. My mother...
She was hanging from the ceiling with a rope around her neck, with blood running down her arms. My dad was sitting below her with tears streaming down his face. I felt myself fall I couldn't breath. All I could see was my mother hanging by one single rope......
Suddenly I was being pulled. I looked back and saw two officers trying to pull me back. I was out of breath already but I screamed and kicked and tried to go see my mom. Then everything went black again...

End of flashback

I looked once more at the bottle of pills and started to cry. That memory would always haunt me, no matter where I was. I grabbed the knife and pressed it to my wrist. I tore it across my skin over and over, unable to stop. By the time I had gotten control over myself again I wrapped the knife in a tissue like I always do. I looked at my wrist and saw the blood dripping down onto my small purple blanket. I grabbed a rag and pressed it to my wrist, trying to clean the blood off.

Once the blood had stopped, I curled up in my blanket and laid my head down on my pillow. After my mom had died my dad got depressed and didn't do as good at work. He got fired and he couldn't pay for the house anymore. Some nights we would stay at one of his friends houses and other nights we would sleep in the car. We could barely pay for food or gas.

While all this was happening I pretended to stay happy but on the inside, I was breaking. We found a trailer and a property to put it on. My dad got a job but he never told me what it was because he said it was dangerous and if I told anyone what he did he would get it big trouble. He got me back in school and I continued to pretend like I was happy. I was in sixth grade then. My dad used to come home late after work and he would be acting funny. Then he would start drinking and go to sleep.

Over the summer of that year we had gotten a bit more money and we were living in a tiny mobile home. Which is were I'm living even today. I fell asleep thinking about my harsh past.

Hey guys!!! So that was the first chapter of my story. Comment below and tell me if you liked it or not and if there is anything I can fix. I promise the story will get better as I keep writing it. Also, I have other stories that I'm working on but are on hold. I will publish one of them soon though. High fives all around and I will see all you dudes.....IN THE NEXT CHAPTER!!!!