A Guide to Eating Disorders

Coping With the Holidays

For a lot of different cultures, December is a month of holidays. No matter what you may or may not celebrate, the holidays are present almost everywhere, and with holidays comes food. Lots of it, in fact.

If you’re reading this, you may struggle, or may have struggled, with disordered eating, which makes this time of the year particularly tough when it comes to coping. In summary, the holidays cause a lot of extra stress, can worsen relationships with the stress and put a spotlight on food and eating, which will worsen disordered eating. This is a couple of tips—-not medical advice—-to possibly help you cope with this season. Unfortunately, I wrote it later than I would have liked, but hopefully it will help.

   
    ~ Let’s start with something that a large percentage of cultures celebrate: New Years. A common tradition on New Year’s Eve (which is around twelve o’clock on Dec. 31st for countries that use a Gregorian calendar) is to make a resolution for the new year. This resolution is typically some type of self-improvement that you’re hoping to make. With neurodivergent people, a big thing is to pledge to recover, or something in that scheme. While this may be good motivation for someone to slowly become better, it can also put a lot of pressure on the person making the resolution, particularly, if they make it around other people.

    So, this New Year, if you plan to make a resolution, be careful. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself to become better, and try to stay away from making weight goals, even if they're technically positive for recovery. Perhaps make a resolution by yourself to focus more on your recovery, rather than to recover explicitly. In general, make your resolution small, personal and achievable. You’ll receive a little energy boost when you meet it mentally as well, so you can also set a string of very small goals that you can achieve with time that will subconsciously also uplift you.

    ~ Next, let’s face the fact that a lot of functions you’ll attend during the holidays will have a lot of food, if not be completely food-oriented. If you find yourself having to go to any of these functions, try to plan for it. If you have someone going with you that knows about your struggles, ask them to help you out and remind you to not eat too much or too little. A lot of this food isn’t very healthy either, so you can always try to regulate this by eating a healthy meal at home beforehand and being careful at the function. That way, it’ll stop you from feeling healthy, and it’ll assist you not to overeat, as well as taking off the pressure of eating in front of other people. Also be sure to remember that if you do end up eating in front of people, all eyes won’t be on you, and they won’t be focusing on what you eat. You don’t have to feel self-conscious. And if you don’t know what type of food will be served at an event, you can enquire beforehand or perhaps even bring a food that you deem “safe”.

    ~ It can be helpful to call a friend that struggles with an ED as well, because almost everybody finds the holidays tough. They can talk with you about the parts you find difficult or give you some tips they’ve picked up on. Online friends can also help if they somewhat understand what you’re going through with the stress. You can also enlist a helpful person that knows what you’re going through to judge your portion size or ladle out a meal when you need to eat. They can be very helpful.

    ~ Family stress is usually very prevalent around this time, whether it’s focused on money, or the stress of possibly spending more time together. Be sure to take time away from everyone and by yourself, as well as spending time with friends or people outside of your family. Without other people, or unchanging people, it’s easy to fall into a holiday depression. Isolation is never a good thing, but a balance definitely is, so take time for yourself, just not too much

    ~ Be sure to try to keep your eating to a regular schedule that’s healthy. You can always refuse cookies without seeming too weird, but keep on eating healthy, wholesome foods that give you energy.

    ~ Only attend the things you can handle. If you feel stressed out, say that you’re tired and store up your energy for the next event. Avoid “overstressing” and “overbooking” yourself. A lower sense of stress can decrease the perceived need to turn to eating-disordered behaviors or other unhelpful coping strategies. Cut down on unnecessary events and obligations and leave time for relaxation, contemplation, reflection, spiritual renewal, simple service, and enjoying the small yet most important things in life. This will help you experience and enjoy a sense of gratitude and peace.

    ~ Don’t focus on the mistakes you may have made. Whether you binged or purged or went a day without eating or exercised too much, move on and try to regulate yourself again.

    ~ Don’t listen to the fat-talk, or the “you need to fatten up” relatives that say it every year. It’s hard to ignore it, but that’s the only way it won’t affect you. When it becomes overwhelming, level the room and breathe for a moment, remembering that that's just them, not you, and that they shouldn't have the power to affect you.