The Spawns

The Spawns | Chapter IX -- My Will Power Crumbles

THE SPAWNS

My Will Power Crumbles

Chapter IX—Lilibeth

© DarknessAndLight

Cole and I ran side by side in the quiet streets, the only sound ringing through my ear being the rhythmical intake of our breathes and the pounding of our steps on the asphalt.

            I wanted to keep up with him. Cole had longer legs than me and an excellent cardio, but the countless hours I spent dancing and running helped me.

            One of the many things I loved about Cole was that he didn’t act like he needed to be careful with me and give me chances. Whenever I went running with Jay-jay he would start by walking fast instead of breaking into a run, trying to spare me too much straining I guess, like I was something he needed to worry about and be careful with. I had to run faster if I wanted him to run with me too.

            Cole didn’t do that. The minute he had stepped out he had sped up to the street and it had taken me a few seconds to catch up with him. It was silly but I loved the way he pushed me, how I always wanted to be a better person with him because he knew I could be and deep down I believed him. And it was silly to think about the things I loved about him when I shouldn’t be thinking that way. I shouldn’t be thinking about those things. I shouldn’t even have gone running with him in the first place.

            “Is everything alright,” Cole inquired looking back at me—as I had been thinking, I had slowed down.

            I made a face and picked up my pace. “Lost in thoughts, sorry.”

            Cole smiled warmly at me but it quickly turned playful. “First to get to the park,” he challenged and broke into a sprint, not even giving me time to get my bearings.

            I immediately sped up, pushing my legs as hard as I could. For a short while, I was neck to neck with him, but of course, he hadn't been giving his hundred percent all the way so he quickened his pace again and doubled me. I stopped running when he did, laughing soundlessly, my hands pressed against my legs, trying to catch my breath. After a few seconds, I pushed my fringe up, took a deep breath and jogged to the park which was only about fifty meters away.

            Cole was doing a little victory dance when I arrived. He had actually lifted his shirt over his face and was running in circles, basically blind—he really had a problem with doing that. There were a few people hanging around that were looking at him weirdly. I wasn’t blaming them. Cole rarely ever fitted in the “normal” pool. I saw a group of girls from my school giving each other little elbow shoves and fanning themselves while looking and pointing at him. Obviously, his little victory dance was clearly showing his very nice form and they were noticing it.

            It angered me. Of course, I knew Cole was good-looking—insanely good-looking—but seeing other people, other girls, acknowledging it made me feel uneasy. But when he was away, back in college, living in dorms, hundreds of miles away from me, dozens of girls, of women, must be recognizing that fact without my knowledge of it. It shouldn’t be affecting me in any way. But it did, and the thought of others did too. There was rarely a time where I did not worry about others, because of course there would be others, why wouldn’t there be any?

            I should want others, for Cole’s sake. But for my sake I hope there would never be any. Unfortunately I also knew that was exactly what I was wishing for Cole—to find a girl, the right girl for him, anyone but me.