Blame it on our Fates

t h i r t y s i x

A few minutes later it was my turn to show the id and I did. The large, beefy bouncer scanned the id and then my face. A few seconds passed and he let me in. I sighed in relief and directly made my way to the bar where I could find myself to drink for the first time in my life.

I didn't know where the sudden urge to drink came from. But what I did know was that I needed a drink to dissolve all of my anger, anguish and anxiety and I needed it badly. I had never drank before and never thought about drinking that stuff ever before. But that was before my life turned to be the synonym of screwed over. I always wondered what drove people to drink and I couldn't find an answer to that until today that is. And the answer was that people drank to dissolve their pains away, something I wanted to do today.

With a motive in mind, I leaned into the counter and ordered what seemed to be the strongest drink there.

--

"Another Vodka on the deck Martin!" I exclaimed as I dropped the empty shot glass on the counter and waited for the young, handsome bartender to prepare me one.

Martin chuckled loudly over the obnoxious music blaring across the club and started preparing me one.

"You don't look old enough to be drinking this stuff," He remarked as he handed me the next vodka shot.

"And you don't look ugly and old enough to be working as a bartender here. You should be working as a model though," Not me but the insensible, the drunken part of me commented. That seemed like flirting, I pondered.

If drinking helped you to gain confidence, I sure should do it often, thought my brain.

It was maybe my sixth or the seventh shot I had over the past hour. And I didn't plan on stopping until I had forgotten the reason of drinking. The memories of my father confessing his feelings to Kimbitchy had been pushed to the back of my mind and my aim was to make it disappear completely from my mind and not just pushing it to the back of mind.

Martin chuckled loudly, again as he shook his head at me and shot me a dizzying, knee weakening smile that made him look even more handsome.

"I haven't seen you around much, though it would be fun to have you around here more. Tedious, but entertaining," Martin said as he locked his grey eyes with me.

I giggled in response, the alcohol kicking inside me.

But before anyone of us could say anything, another voice cut us off.

"Hey Martin, make me my usual," The familiar voice ordered and I was tempted to turn around and have a look at the owner of the voice but the alcohol in my hands seemed more appealing and I raised the glass to my mouth and downed the drink in one go. The tingly, cold drink that seemed foreign and unusual to me a few glasses ago now seemed to be comforting and my sole soother. It burned my throat for a moment before easiness started seeping in. I brought the glass back on the deck and ordered another making Martin smile at me and the familiar person yet stranger turn and look at me.

My eyes met the familiar sea green coloured eyes and I giggled, thinking I was going insane to see him here of all places.

"Brown?" His confused voiced called out to me and it made me giggle even more rather hysterically this time. It was crazy, my imagination was. I was firstly seeing him here, surely hallucinating and now I heard his voice.

"You are not real," I muttered through my laughter. Martin returned with two drinks in his hands and placed one in front of me another in front of my hallucination. I brought my hand to the glass but before I could pick it up, it had vanished from my sights. I started whimpering and whining at the loss of drink from my sights and looked at the imaginary Nolan whose hand was holding my glass and it was raised higher from my heights reach.