Adventures

Squabbling Altercations of Stubborn Patrons: Part 1

Squabbling Altercations of Stubborn Patrons: Part 1..... Feesha_Kitty & Kingdav9

It was early that morning, the sun was cracking over the horizon. Maria had woken up after a good night's sleep. She seemed particularly cheery that morning. She made her way down to the kitchen, where Scot, in an apron and holding a spatula, was baking his family recipe for biscuits. Which normally would not be a problem, accept for one minor detail...

"Scot... Where are my crumpets?"

"Burned 'em."

"You did what?!"

"Burned those lumps of crud."

"But I like them and I made them!"

"Try my biscuits! Better than your bloody crumpets!"

Maria was extremely angry, as she very much looked forward to her morning crumpets. No tea? Fine. No cream and sugar? Maybe, but insult her food? That was not something she was NOT ok with!

"Get over here you nit-witted, Scottish, sack of crap!" Maria said while charging towards Scot. She picked up a chair on her way across the kitchen. Before Scot could even blink, she was getting ready to swing!

"What do you think youre doing?!" Scot screamed frantically as Maria started beating him with the chair. A blow to the ribs and one to the back, Scot grabbed the chair and wrenched it from her grip. "You dumb broad! Come here!" Scot hurled the chair in her direction.

Marie ran and managed to duck under a table as the chair shattered against the wall directly behind her. "You could have killed me!"

"Yeah, well you may well have cracked one of my ribs! Over a bloody crumpet!"

Maria jumped onto the table and had somehow aquired a wooden spoon. Launching herself off of the table, she landed on Scot, knocking him to the ground.

"They weren't just crumpets! THEY WERE MY CRUMPETS!" she screamed, whilst beating him with the wooden spoon. "I want my damned crumpets and I want them now!"

As Maria reached back for another blow, Scot shoved her off of him, knocking the spoon out of her hand and sending her crashing into the wall.

"That's enough! Can't ya just try one of my biscuits?"

"No! I want a crumpet and I will settle for no less! Crumpets are for refined and proper people, like me! I will avenge my crumpets!" Said Marie, attempting to stand up.

"Will ya stop hitting me if I make ya a crumpet?" Scot said, out of breath, still on the floor.

"Yes! But first, apologize for burning my crumpets!"

"I will not! That would be lying and I never lie."

"Make me some food and I'll consider forgiving you!"

"Fine." Scot got up and walked back to the stove. He then started preparing to make her some crumpets.

"And they had better be as good as mine!"

"Don't push your luck, lassie!"