The Doubt of Moving On (l.p)

Chapter 22

I shrugged just as Ruby came out and gave the both of them a hug before grabbing an apple and saying goodbye. We walked out of the building hand in hand, not saying a word. It wasn’t awkward, it was just silent; with me looking around and at her occasionally, and her looking straight ahead while munching on her apple.

“Liam!” A voice shouted from behind the desk of the reception in the hospital. The walk there was long, it stayed silent.

“Hello, Martha.” I greeted, smiling at the middle aged woman that called my name. I haven’t seen her since the last time I came to the hospital which was a little over a month ago. I said hello to her every time I came here which used to be everyday up until I starting being with Ruby. Then I rarely ever came to the hospital. I think in the past four months Ruby and I have been together, I’ve only visited Elise twice which is a big achievement knowing that I used to visit her everyday.

“You haven’t been here in a while.” Martha stated and I nodded.

“Didn’t feel like I had much of a reason to anymore.” I told her with a shrug and she beamed at me then looked at Ruby. “Oh, Ruby. Is this your fortnightly visit? You usually don’t come until fridays.”

Ruby shook her head with a smile. “No, I’m actually here with Liam.”

Martha’s eyebrows shot up. “Are you two together? Now that is news.”

I chuckled and Ruby smiled, gripping my hand tightly. “Yeah, we are.

“How long?” She asked.

“Four months next week.” I replied.

“Well, that’s a first; the guy knowing how long.” Martha chuckled and I smiled. “Well, I won’t keep you. She’s still in the same room and just to let you know,” she leaned in closer, “the doctor said that she’s been looking positive for the past week.”

“Oh, wow. Okay, thanks Martha.” I told her and she gave me a smile and a wave.

I towed Ruby through the maze of halls with the strong sense of familiarity in me. Once we got to her door, i briefly glanced at Ruby who had her lips pursed but her eyes looked confident and ready. I took a deep breath in and opened it. Elise looked exactly as I last saw her, motionless with her eyes open and the heart monitor beeping. 

"Why are her eyes open?" Ruby whispered as if she didn't want Elise to hear. 

"The doctors told me that her mind is too scared to be lucid. Like her body is awake but her mind is still in its comatose state." I told her then I added, "you don't have to whisper, by the way."

She smiled sheepishly before walking to a chair off to the side, avoiding the bed at all costs. I automatically sat in the chair beside the bed, just watching her. 

Her hair was long now, almost up to her waist and her hazel eyes were hazed over. Her breathing was still even and her hands were still limp. I looked over to Ruby and she was just watching Elise, not in a jealous kind of way but in a curious way. 

"Hey, Elise." I said, awkwardly. I usually knew what to say to her whenever I visited her but now with Ruby in the room, I felt like I can't talk to her. It had as much awkwardness as introducing your ex-girlfriend to your actual girlfriend. "Well, it's been a little over a month since I've seen you. And I've, uh, brought Ruby with me. I wanted to introduce her to you." I held my hand out for Ruby and she took it straight away, settling herself on my lap. “Elise, this is Ruby and Ruby this is Elise.”

Ruby didn’t looked as alarmed as I thought she would if she found out how I talk to Elise like she’s awake. But that’s the thing, when someone’s in a coma you talk to them until they wake up, you act like they are awake. “Hi, Elise.” Ruby said quietly.

Ruby looked at me, uncertainly and I gave her a reassuring smile and a kiss on her cheek then looked back to Elise. “Ruby’s really important to me, Elise. You see, I was the absolute worse when you did what you did. I was angry ninety percent of the time and I was just not myself. I was angry at you for so long. For hurting me and my friends; for betraying me; for lying. Then I met Ruby and my god, she changed my life.

“Ever since she bumped into my, she was all I could think about and it distracted me from you. She made me less angry, she made me laugh and smile. She made me feel alive again. 

“I brought her here with me to tell you that I’m not angry anymore and I’m over it. I’ve moved on from what you did and it’s all thanks to Ruby. i love her more than I’ve ever loved anything in my life. I just wanted to tell you that.”

I turned to Ruby and she looked at me with disbelief and something else that I couldn’t pinpoint. I beamed at her, letting her know that everything I just said was true. She helped me move on and not in a rebound kind of way. She helped me move past the hurt and the betrayal. She helped me feel like I didn’t have to be dead because of one incident. She helped me in every way possible. I love her so fucking much.

“Liam-” She started to say but was cut off by a groan. We both looked at the bed and saw that Elise’s eyes were closed and her eyebrows were furrowed, like she was trying to remember something. I was shocked and slightly scared. She just had to wake up just as I told her that I’m not angry anymore.

But then I remembered what the doctor said. Her mind is too scared to be lucid. Was she scared of how I was going to react when she woke up? Was she scared that of me not being able to move past it? Elise, and almost everyone, knew me well enough that I would never be able to live normally after what she did. Was that what she was scared about? What she was waiting for? For me to move and from what she did and be happy before she woke up? 

It was a coward act but somehow, I was grateful she didn’t wake up when she did. Because if she did, I don’t know what I would have done with all the anger I had in me back then. 

Elise’s eyes finally opened and her eyes scanned the room. For some reason I kept thinking that she was still in that state of mind where she wasn’t fully awake but then her body started to move and I knew that she was awake this time. The first thing she did was move her hands to her stomach, feeling for the wound that healed long ago. 

“Ugh.” She groaned as her hands went limp on her stomach. Then her eyes moved to Ruby and I.

I honestly didn’t know what I expected from her at that moment. But the least thing I expected her to do was give me a smile of relief. So I stayed silent, my face expressionless but my insides going crazy of surprise. 

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A/N

Yes, yes I know how long it took me to write this and jesus I’m so sorry! I hope you all had a good christmas and I hope you all have the best year. 

Btw, I’m writing this in Ruby’s POV :))

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Mwahbebssssssss

-Winona